When you get more than you expect, you're stunned. When she waved goodbye before leaving the club, that is what happened. From the impression that my friends have of me, off late, this shouldn't so much as tickle my nails. (I guess that's something that shouldn't cause any sensation. So I used that comparison.) It should be a mere pushover incident for a today-this-tomorrow-another type callous flirt!
Hang on! I was sent to dizzying heights. (May be that's why the weakness in the knees. They'd be shuddering with the thought of a fall from there.) It wasn't a pushover incident. I gathered some courage. Believe me, it took a lot of it! To turn back, take quick steps towards her, tap her shoulder to catch her attention, hope that she is receptive while she turns back to me, open my mouth, exert some energy to generate sounds and ensure that they are clear and are intelligible to the hearer in the loud noise and mean what they were to mean - all this after she waved goodbye and made her way to the exit of the club - was tougher than most questions in the exams I faced.
I first caught sight of this pretty girl in black at least an hour after we entered the club. This was in Crobar, Chicago where Anant decided to invite us to celebrate his birthday. It was difficult to say if it was crush at first sight or not because the lights were dim -though very much the way they should be in nightclubs - making it imperative to have more than a glance to capture the complete picture.
She was there, dancing on the floor with other girls and guys who seemed to be her colleagues. They seemed to be visiting USA on some official work. How did I judge that? Well, the whole group consisted of Indians and some of them looked fairly old. Such mixed age group of people all from India more often than not points to a group of onsite-ers. Anant walked up to me. We have this code to update each other, at least when we bump into each other, of the happening events or possible events in the club. I shouted in his ears (have to shout more than once to convey anything longer than 2 words) and furtively pointed in the direction where she was sitting with 2 of her friends. "The middle one... Looks nice!" I said. Anant wished me luck and set off where he wanted to before spotting me.
I now saw, much to my pleasant shock, that her 2 friends were leaving her to join their other colleagues on the dance floor. I couldn't believe it. Was this a sign from above? May be not. Maybe they'll come back and make a fuss about me troubling their friend - a lonely girl sitting by the side. Maybe they'll have me bounced out by the bouncers. It perhaps took about 5 min in this quandary. It seemed like an eon though.
I gently walked up to her. "Excuse me. Are you a student?" I asked. She couldn't hear. "Sorry?" she asked. "Are you a ..." as I was about to complete, I realized that the sounds were dying down before they could reach her ears. And the distance from my mouth to her ears could harly be a couple of inches. I took out my phone, typed a text version of my question. "No" and she shook her head too.
"Are you onsite?"
"Sort-of..." she said with a corresponding gesture.
I contorted my face as if to mean, "What does that mean?"
"Where do you work?"
"NEC!"
"What?"
"NEC!!!"
"Oh! Ok! You care to join me for a dance" I said, shaking my legs and moving my shoulders as I asked. Now the text conversion seemed to take too much time to engage her in a conversation in which she'd reply patiently.
"No, I am done," with an expression that one has when they want to say, "Sorry to disappoint you." This was kind of strange because girls normally are sterner, bordering on rude, when they refuse during such times. I was happy that she wasn't rude.
"Just a little bit? Over here?"
"No, I am done."
"Hmmm... You're looking pretty!"
"Thank you!" she replied with a smile.
"Hmmm... Okay! See you..."
I passed time around other places, joined my friends for a bit. Some wanted to leave. I felt it was way to early to leave.
I also received Anant's text "Your girl is alone by herself."
I knew it. I had done what I wanted to by then. But I thought she was still alone. So I went back to see if I could gather more about her in a casual conversation. But when I went back, there were the 2 friends who came back to join her. I understood the meaning of "sunken feeling" completely. It always works best when you learn with examples!
The rest of the time, I passed, trying to find moments when she'd be alone. The whole group now joined her. They were taking pictures. I surely think our eyes met a couple of times from a distance. I was worried she may get cautious and ask her friends to call for help! That didn't happen.
Finally they decided to call it a night. One after the other, they started walking in a half-dizzied and half-drunken manner (rather quarter dizzied, quarter dancing, quarter drunken and quarter tranced). At least 4 girls walked past me from my left side. (As I faced the DJ, the enclosure where they were sitting was on my left.) The next one was her. My heart skipped most of its regular beats. I was hoping she'd not embarass me. Half trying to catch a glimpse of her before she left and half trying to save my face I was in a mess.
Surely the Heavens felt mischievous then because the girl waved at me to say goodbye!!! That was the dizzying moment. The skipped beats and the regular ones came at once. That shock drowned me so much that I forgot to do what I'd have so easily done when in my elements - try to strike a conversation!
Just in the nick of time, when there was a pause near the exit as they were waiting for everybody to be together, I mustered enough courage and walked up to her and asked her name.
"Vandy!"
"Huh?"
"Vandana!"
"Ahhh! Varun!"
"Nice meeting you." Here I was like, "She said that? SHE said that???"
"Yeah nice meeting you too."
Itis not that I get beaten up by girls when I talk to them so I was feeling this way. It was just something about the girl. Too many pleasant shocks here and I lost courage, ironically, to ask any more of her contact details.
"You should have asked for her last name at least!" exclaimed Anant.
"You think I am so dumb to not know to do that?" I said to him, while I mumbled "It was just lack of courage," to myself shaking my head. I know there is no logic in that, I knew there was no logic in that. If I gathered courage to ask her name, why not her full name?
Here is where I remembered my friend Rahul. In many of our up-there-in-quality conversations we had we would discuss about how certain things are beyond logic. All I can do is shrug my shoulders and wait for her to bump into me and hope that logic, to the extent that I can strike useful conversation with her, prevails. When after I told Rahul this story I said, "I wish I could find her dude!", he replied "I wish too!" He paused before delivering the punch-line, "I can't bear your whining!"
He surely wants to sound insensitive but I guess he may be praying a little that that happens too. What is the logic? Don't ask me now! (I'd have been the first one to attempt to find and/or provide logic in any matter/discussion. Today, and for some time to come, I believe it won't happen.)
For now, it is a small prayer (Praarthanaa),
that Raingod (Varun) gets Worshipped (Vandana)!
Some pics uploaded by my friend Tejaswi are here.
