The only reason I hate my name!

My name was carefully chosen by a man who puts detailed thought into everything. Everything! My father wanted to ensure that it was not a typical Andhra name. That his son shouldn't have a problem while filling the numerous application forms that one fills in a life time was a major factor in his choice. He wanted to name me a trendy and uncommon one by those days' standards. The limiting factor was also that no one should be able to shorten my name further. They could nickname me anything, but the name itself couldn't be shortened further. Shortening further shoudn't give any bonus to the one calling out the shortened name. All these factors culminated into my name being fixed as what it is.

People may argue that they could still shorten my name and make it "Varu" or "Var" or some such thing. But here is what I observed. The easiest for anyone to shout out or keep using frequently would be bisyllabic names (Two sounds. Most nicknames are of 2 syllables.). Names longer than those are shortened to 2 syllables for ease of use. Vikram (2.5 or 3 syllables) typically becomes Vikky. Tejaswi become Teju. Vinay could become Vinnu. Padmanabhan becomes Paddy and so on. There are some 2.5 or 3 syllable names which can't be shortened and be used easily. Say, shouting out "Varru" isn't so much of a bonus over "Varun". "Madhur" can't be shortened but in case it is shortened, "Madhu" is another valid Indian name. Also, calling out, "Mad" in a formal meeting sounds flippant.

So, Mr Ravi Kishore (my dad)! Well done. Hats off! However, there are occasions when I really hate my name, of which, I am otherwise very proud.

I remember, people used to appreciate my name in the context of monsoon rains which are crucial for Indian farmers and the economy. The name was fairly uncommon too. So I never had trouble with my name. It is also a part of the motto of Indian Navy.

I hated it most in Bengaluru. Bengaluru has the most fickle rains that a city could have. Given that it is not an island, or near a coast like say Mumbai, it is surprising where it gets rains from. It is not exaggerating to say that if the sun beats down for 4 days or say a week, the next day has to be rainy. So, when I would set out to go to college on a bright morning, it would not rain, unless I am not carrying my jacket. So let us say, it is that day when it could rain going by the rule I established above, it will rain positively if I am not carrying my jacket. If I do carry my jacket, however, it will not rain. I was stuck with this. It happened more than a dozen times. Riding a bike on a horribly wet day is an experience I will dedicate another article to. For now only those who have ever "been there done that" will know how it is a nightmare.

I think it is to do with my name because my friends didn't seem to have such a problem. Every such instance only cemented that rule for me. The last one really frustrated me. I drove my friends to a cricket match that I was playing. My roommate (Vinay) wanted to see a game in flesh, especially a game that I was playing. This excitement came to him when he saw the cricket kit that I bought. The others for some reason or the other wanted to watch it too. My main worry was, if after they came to see the match I only managed to score a duck or did badly in the game.

I didn't expect that there was something worse to fear. 10 minutes before our reaching the ground it started drizzling. 9 minutes before reaching it started lashing. And it continued to pour for at least half an hour. With every half a minute of rain, my belief that there would even be a single ball bowled in the game was buried deeper. So far every game possible got rained out. The one game that didn't get washed out was the one in which I was resting. My teammates (Most of them from Pakistan) were wondering how this year the weather seems such a spoil sport. I observed this till one day in a fit of frustration I cursed that it was my name perhaps. That I joined the league this year was enough for the God of Rain to start pouring his heart out was what I was coming to believe. In fact, this time, it is not just affecting me, but my team, and the whole league itself.

Now, with this knowledge, everytime there is a rain forecast or the match has just been called off, my senior team members teasingly ask me, "Aur kyaa chaahte ho bhaai mujhse?" (What more do want from me?) "Let us have a game, Raingod!" they say. Varun means "God of water" but then I don't think that makes a difference anyway. The sorry story continues every weekend. Every team member observed how the sun beats down brightly and how it is pleasant for the whole week just to spoil the weekend. It is as if the sun wants a break in the weekend too! I wonder why it isn't this way - the rain wanting an off on weekend! It is MY name, I guess! When I was in India, it was this way there. Now that I am in Chicago, it is this way here!

I have vowed to change my name and/or email ID (varun.raingod@gmail.com). Another thing I promised to do is to name my son "Ravi" not so much after my dad as because it means "Sun God". At least he'll get nice weather following him wherever he goes. I only hope after all this that the same rule applies to him (Name = weather).

This is the only time I hate my name; only reason I hate my name. Dad, couldn't you think of another name?