A woman like you

Oh do you know how beautiful you are, lass?
A mere picture of you projects your style and sass!

The Angels love your twinkling eyes.

So does that guy who sees them and sighs!

He should describe your smile, so vivacious,
who was hitherto mute, but now loquacious!

Just to hear your ringing laughter,
men would line up before dawn; not after.

Because all it takes to make their day
is the sight of you laughing away!

People stare at emptiness wondering, like freaks,
then realize, a thousand roses made your cheeks!

Sitting at a bar in your lovely black dress,
you may think renaissance or your hair you may caress!

You'd see diffident men if only you care to notice
them nervously looking for a chance they shouldn't miss!

What they won't give up to show you they are smart?
A chat with you is a high, Oh Science blended with Art!

Your conversation has a power to trigger a Renaissance!
Your intelligence and beauty make men long for romance!

Oh Wonder Woman, do not let one man tarnish the rest for you.
In your Guardian Angel's wings is this man who'd die for you!

To a lovely damsel in distress who could easily rule the world but who just seemed to lose hope in men, too. What I wouldn't give to meet and convince her that my poem is true.

Girl prettier than Spring

You let down your hair over your right shoulder.
You walked by me often but never could I get bolder!
The Spring outside? Naah! Your gorgeous dress!
Your magnetic smile made me forget my stress.
Fresh, flowing, floral dress! Oh and your ringing voice...
Man! You have charmed how many boys?
Mustard in my salad! I thank it, because you see...
because it brought your smile to me.
I hope this poem impresses you!
I'd love to see you with me at a dinner table, too!

Cricketer me

In my blog article - A compilation of regrets - I wrote about how I pictured myself as being someone other than who I am. I quit playing cricket in high school, disheartened by how hard work and discipline was not rewarded by my coach, thus realizing that my mom's words about sports not being the thing for our family.

Yet, my love for the game meant I tried to keep playing some form of the game or the other. In what was completely unforeseen by me (when I quit in school) I got a chance to play professional/club cricket here in the US. I played for Chicago Giants in 2009 and then Cricket Club of Illinois (CCI) in 2010, 2011 and 2012 - in 2012 as a captain of the team!

I always wondered how I look when I play. Not that I am a great or even a good player. (I am, now, beginning to get rid of the rust around my game. Every practice effort I put in gives me more confidence.) Yet the curiosity of how I look when I play shots, or when I take my stance, or when I run , or simply standing at the pitch with my head under a helmet appealed to me.

Finally, that fire was doused when Brian Stauffer photographed our match against Springfield Cricket Club. He took a  few hundred pictures, surely! He was nice to send me 2 of my photographs taken from the boundary. And here is what I look like...

He also captured a shot when I got hit on my back. I was trying to let the ball go down the leg side for a wide but it was closer than I expected and the ball was also quicker.

The greater man

It some times can be unnerving, and even depressing, to learn about yourself through unexpected quarters. To take a peek at yourself through someone... Esp when that someone is supposedly more evil than you are...

The shaking of foundations, that happens during this discovery, can be very depressing!

I spoke with Majid, an inmate of the Danville prison, a student of EJP, a man who made an impression on me the first time I heard and spoke to him. I was going around striking conversations with the students asking them what they were up to. I had occasions to synch up with my regular friends - Malik, Jojo, Bartosz and others. Majid, I hadn't spoken to much, since the EJP Open House.

He was, at that time, typing up his chronology of incarceration. My first impression of it was that it was going to be his resume when he was released. He had an earnest list of all the things that he learned, worked on, built while he was imprisoned. It was an impressive list. That list consisted of those things that could match or better the skills of an Engineer like me. Suddenly, all the impressed faces, when I would mention that I am a Computer/Software Engineer, seemed like taunts. Electrical wiring, plumbing, accountancy, sociology etc were boast-worthy indeed!

I asked him why he wouldn't prepare a resume instead. Or make the chronology of incarceration read from the latest event first. He said the purpose of the two things were different and that he already had prepared his resume. I was hoping he would get a steady income job once he was released. (It is only recently that I understood the social stigma about prisoners and their families. Having interacted with both inmates and their families, this time as a volunteer, not as a documentary-viewer or movie-watcher, I saw the other side of things. Placing myself in their shoes is so hard that I don't attempt to do that much these days.) His getting a job where his employer trusts him is as probable as the US governments employing terrorist organizations in defense organizations. Only this is much more brushed under the carpet and made to look like there is no discrimination.

He said that every employer will ask him tons of questions about his crime, the nature of it, the reason, the graveness, etc. "They will not care to ask even one question on what I did and learned all these years, and instead focus on that one incident!" I had a lump in my throat. I wanted to point out that there was nothing wrong in the employer wanting to know about the crime. After all, he did commit it and he can't run away from it. I didn't need to. He himself pointed out that he was not denying the crime but instead of looking to generalize his whole life based on one incident he should be viewed as another individual who made a mistake and is repenting so much that he not only is mellow and not committing more crimes but also has done useful things with and in his life. He has made use of every little chance he got to improve himself.

He told me that he was appealing for parole. He was due for release in 1982 but learned right around his release that the law was amended and instead of 63% paroles there would only be 2%. My heart sank when I thought how I'd have felt. Just 2 months before I was to be released, happily dreaming about my reunion with my family and SLAP! No release for another 20 years!

 He was in the prison for a homicide. Murder of 2 people...

"What do they (Jury/General public/Prospective employers) get by mentioning that one incident over and over again. It is not like I enjoyed it. It was an accident. I didn't run away from it but I have shown every sign of remorse by putting my life to good use. Here are the reports." Saying so he drew out a psychologist's report. He had a file of all documents that he could put together to appeal for a parole sooner than later.

I read through the summary of the crime glancing at him through the corner of my eye in between. I half wanted to picture how he may have been on that dreadful night of the murders. It was hard for me to imagine a fierce and gruesome expression on this man at all! Let alone on that night! I felt like a special friend at that moment. (We are told not to  talk about their crimes. Understandably they don't want to relive those horrifying events that brought them there and many more sad stories revolving around their families.) And then for Majid to show me his whole report... made me feel like that special friend who has been confided to. It made me respect him. When you look back at the times when it was difficult for you to confess your mistakes/shortcomings this candid conversation with Majid only made him admirable! How many of us have the guts to admit the flaws in us? How many of us can go to our loved ones now and tell them the actual truth?

Here was a man showing remorse. He didn't intend to kill those 2 people. All the same he doesn't deny that that doesn't make him a murderer deserving punishment. He only urges us all to see and acknowledge that he is a human being who earnestly tries every moment to keep improving. I looked at his resume again. I recollected his discussion on Civil Rights in the first meeting that I mentioned. I gasped!

Suddenly I realized that I was in the presence of a man far greater than I am. Have you ever felt a sinking feeling when you realize that what you believed about yourself was not true? To the society I am supposed to be the better individual right? He is supposed to be the evil of the society right? And yet when I saw what he made of the little that life offered him, I couldn't look at myself with the same pride any more.

Thank you, Majid, for showing me who the greater man was. You are a prisoner. Yet you dwarfed me hands down!

Leap to Life!

Pictures say a 1000 words!

A 1000 pictures say million words!

So here it is...

Leap to Life

Prison as a loss making company

Every company tries to earn to make profits. That is central to a thriving economy. Either through new products or efficient operations/services the costs are cut down and then cheaper cost products or services are offered. That is how competition picks out the best providers and the others either learn lessons and move into other sectors or further improve the current best efficiency through their innovation.

The quality of the service or the product and the use for those are the most important factors to decide whether the business will be successful or not. No one would want to buy defective pieces because often the repeated purchase of defective pieces exceeds the cost of a single purchase of a good quality product or service. In a capitalist economy profits are central. It is mutually to everyone's benefit to try and work on efficiency in their core strength. That way prices are driven downwards or kept the same while the quality of life improves.

In a small and ideal economy where everyone concentrates on their strengths there is no need for any regulations and laws. However even if there is an ideal economy, an entity as big as a nation cannot be treated as small. So there are popularly elected representatives whose tasks are to govern the region/nation and ensure everyone is able to concentrate on their tasks and improve the quality of life. The government should efficiently improve its governance and help keep with the overall goals of prosperity and happiness. The traders, craftsman and servicemen get their money from the goods and services they offer. The government employees need to get some money for their work too. That is tax. So a long story cut short, tax is everyone's mutual agreement and contribution towards the upkeep of and a better society.

Even though direct monetary profits is not the goal of the government the correct use of the tax (agreed individual contribution towards maintenance, improvement, etc) is and should always be. If that is not done correctly, then it is as good as a loss making company.

Let us consider prisoners. Let us start analyzing from the time they somehow get into the prison without belaboring and debating on the causes of their incarceration. They got there for having committed some crime. That crime may have been out of compulsion or force or lack of awareness or sheer mental disturbance. Never mind that. While in prison the typical reaction, initially, of a prisoner is denial or withdrawal. Everything seems unjust or incorrect. Some even harbor escape plans. Gradually reality sinks in. He realizes that the prison walls around him are no illusion. He realizes that he could keep whining for the rest of the term - very likely around 10 to 15 years - or do something useful.

If he chooses the former it is bad because he will easily be a negative energy carrier. He'll also join the negative forces and always be up to something nasty. What's worse? When he is released, not only does the social stigma around an imprisoned man deter him from landing an occupation to feed himself and his family but also the pent up negative energy can add to the misery and another crime may be committed without even a provocation. And then what happens? Very likely he is caught again and he is imprisoned again. Only this time it (the punishment) will be more severe because the ex-convict, apparently, didn't learn enough from the time served in the prison.

If he chooses the latter, good for him. But what useful things can he do? While in prison he can perhaps do a lot of helping around, maintaining the prison facilities and earn some money for his service. He could possibly learn some crafts or arts. But what good are most of these experiences when he is released? If he wants to get a job at a restaurant or at a post office or as a bus driver or a place where slightly higher skills, that come with a higher education, are needed? Shops may not employ him because of the mistrust they may have? "Who knows if he is completely corrected or not? What if he loots my shop?" The losses from even small crimes can be a lot to bear for a local shop owner. And to aspire for jobs requiring more skill, like  a receptionist or a computer repairman or a web developer or a call center or data entry operator he simply doesn't have requisite skills and the employers would rather get someone who is almost employable than to take the pains of training such n ex-convict.

Now what happens? He is left with no job! He is a human after all. He has to feed himself and maybe his family. Any guesses for the extent he may go to to survive? Of course the more idle time he spends the more negative energy can build up and then we're only being foolish in expecting no blast. So what is the use of a prison that only just temporarily shields the public from the dangerous/unstable elements? They need money to offer the public this service. That money is from tax, remember? Given the total population of the world, at any time there are people released into the world form prisons and there are some that are put in. So it is indeed only a temporary shielding place.

Now if we view the ex-convict (who completed his term in prison) as a product, if he returns to the prison for some reason, isn't it the same as a defective product from a company? A company that makes defective products falls out or is shut down. What about a prison in our society?

If no attempt is made to reform individuals inside a prison and they are only merely treated as defective pieces from God we are only doing ourselves disservice and harm. The reformation can be through education offered, counseling services, spiritual empowerment and open houses where the prisoners talk about the mistakes they made and urge the people on the border to not take their route. It is possible. I know for certain that most people regret some bad things they did in life. Likewise prisoners too regret their mistakes and they can, more than anyone else can, identify the people - the minds that can be influenced (teens mostly) - who are on the verge of making decisions that they will regret in the future. We must use them as a feedback mechanism to improve our society. For that to happen, we must do enough inside our prisons, to reform the prisoners, and then make them reach out to people on the edge of a cliff, about to commit a crime.

If no attempt is made to reform the inmates a prison system is as much a failure as a badly performing company with dwindling stock prices. If anything a failed prison system is worse because more lives will adversely be affected with their products!

Love in Ethiopia and its 'pullatlu'

I was excited about the new cuisine. So when Vinay suggested that we go to an Ethiopian place for his Birthday dinner I could barely hold myself from tearing my seat belts and jumping onto the Interstate and spreading my joy to the others. (I heard of the suggestion when I was still driving on I-94)

Ras Daschen was where we went. It is on 6846 N Broadway Av in Chicago. I reached there about 20 min earlier than the others. That gave me a chance to listen to some really fascinating and rejuvenating music by a live band.

I was engrossed in the music when I had a lady (waitress/manager) walk up to me and ask me if I wanted to sit down while I was waiting for my friends. And that is when I noticed another beautiful aspect of the restaurant (music being the first). That lady was beautiful and the first thing I thought to myself was that she was a direct descendent of Cleopatra. And then it didn't surprise me that Caesar had his second family there. If I am presented with a chance, I will have 100 families in Egypt, Ethiopia, Morocco etc. Her curly hair, typical of Africans, were bewitching. And her eyes... They were magic! Black magic! Only in this case the victim would love being one! And when the other waitress came up to me and inquired how I was and spoke a few things I was floored. I rued not being able to speak Ethiopian just to impress her. I was surprised that she even chuckled at some silly jokes that one attempts during pleasantries. And when that happened the music in the background played a wonderful catalyst to her movements. The beats on the African drums were so well timed that every beat met with her sashay as though they were trained in the military.

I had a good mind of begging her to break the step a bit, or else my heart would collapse from the hard pounding! My 20 min felt like 2 min when my friends arrived and I was hoping to be served by this soft killer. We weren't but the one who served us was charming too. A good 15 min into researching the menu and what each thing could mean, we were coming up with some suggestions for orders. We all sipped on tasteful, delectable, lip smacking Ethiopian beer, (selected by Venkat and me) first. Pavan seemed to start liking beer which was, to me, as pleasing as the sight of a baby's first steps to its mother.

Our orders consisted of some meat portions which Pavan and I didn't eat of course. We ordered vegetarian delicacies, the best of which, I thought, was Shirro! Injeras, the base item like Indian roti or rice, were strikingly similar in taste and appearance to an Andhra Pradesh delicacy (Pulla atlu/ Pullatlu - meaning sour crepes). Although I probably never had authentic pulla attu (singular for pulla atlu) Pavan's agreement to my claim gave me the confidence to put it in writing.

Once all the food arrived, we all were merry and gorging on the salivary-gland-tingling food! I let me eyes steal away to the next table where the swaying sashaying waitress was serving. "Those lucky ^&$((&*#", I thought! Our table was almost at the other end of the restaurant so that we couldn't have heard so much as an elephant trumpet, let alone a light strum of the live band's guitar. We asked that some music be played for us and they obliged. Pavan, again, seemed to be really fascinated by the music as were others. So I took my chance and gestured to that pretty woman. She came beaming all over. Was I stupid enough to just ask her to change the music to something that was played 5 min back? No!I was clever enough to use that chance to ask her questions about the music and get prolong her presence at our table. I was in a daze. It was either my heart or my words or just my imagination, but surely one of these was floating about in air like a happy feather. God! Why wasn't I an Ethiopian?

By the end of our meal we had plenty of food and music. Personally I could have done with more conversation with the above mentioned descendant of Helen of Troy and Cleopatra! Sadly I had to leave quickly lest my waiting friends curse me. Vinay would already be telling his sister - Deepti - (who would have probably asked her brother, "Why on Earth is he taking so long to come out?") that I was doing some gimmicks and chatting someone up. I had an occasion to chat with the owners of the restaurant and I paid my compliment to the very well presented restaurant, food and music.

Secretly I was also complimenting the other beautiful thing. I also told them how the injeras was very similar to pulla atlu and was hoping they'd tell me that Ethiopians and South Indians (Andhra Pradesh people particularly) were of one blood. In which case I was already making plans of calling up my parents with a view to suggest an alliance!

On my way out I showered praises to the musicians who were happy to point me to the website I mentioned above. My opinions are not biased because of the beautiful waitress but I would recommend Ras Daschen to everyone who love the delicious cuisine, rejuvenating music and the beautiful things in life. (On a similar note, I also understand that I could believe the stock analysts who write a disclaimer saying that they do not hold any stocks of the analyzed company.) I am certainly going there on my next trip to Chicago.

And if you go there you'll love it anyway, but I'd recommend you to go with your chums like I did. It would only make for one of the best memories you've had in life.

If cricket is my religion I am a blasphemer

Given the content that is to follow, I find it comfortable to put this disclaimer right at the beginning than at the end, which may not even be reached by many, if not most.
Disclaimer: I am agnostic and generally allow for a lot of questioning. I take good answers but also play devil's advocate often, just to get people to think hard. This article is not my way of imposing my uniqueness or rebellious attitude or an attempt to gain attention from such a popular topic. So if you are about to leave a comment, please feel free to do so but remember what I said above.

For an aspiring Indian cricket fan perhaps there were 2 good times to start following the game - 1) just before 1983 and 2) just around 1991. The former marking not only significant as India's first World Cup win but also as minnows beating giants and the first time a non West Indian team won a world cup.
The latter marking the increasing popularity and rising number of gasps and utterances of a name as a big talent - Sachin Tendulkar.

I remember beginning to follow cricket from 1993 (Hero Cup) and vague memories of India thrashing England in a home test series under Azharuddin. I remember cheering 2 players more than anyone else -Sachin and Azhar. Nothing would have excited me to watch a game of test cricket more than the sight of the 2 of them playing together. I even remember the days when they'd move the camera from the wicket keeper to the slips and you'd see the following order (always) - Azhar, Sachin and Kapil. Something about that gave a very secure feeling (not to the opposition) to a fan.

Come 1996 World Cup, a storm of enthusiasm was brewing about India's chances to win the cup. It was a home tournament and we didn't really start badly. Never mind the Semi final now. In fact both the games against Sri Lanka started with Jayasuriya and Kaluwitharana back in the pavilion in the first over. And yet we lost. In any case the (now) apple of our eyes - Sachin - was the man of the series and he seemed to be talking only centuries through his bat.

From then to now, nothing changed. Through thick and thin, through rough patches and great form, through all scandals around him, he maintained his superiority. Not just in the team but elsewhere. Around 1998 bowlers bowling to him were all converted to insomniacs. He was a terror, although all of it was through his bat. Never was he aggressive. Never did he show dissent against umpires ghastly errors. The some times he did do that was more of cursing his own fate than the umpire. No child could have learned from him and become a bad sportsman.

He went on to break records before creating some of his own. These, currently look so unachievable by anyone else for eons to come, that they deserve a separate adjective than Bradmanesque. For all of the 90s it would be fair to him to say he carried the team on his shoulders. For a country that seemed to stop producing Superheroes since the mythological times (Krishna, Rama etc) Sachin was a proud creation/possession. He was our answer to Spiderman, Superman, etc. When he took off his helmet, raised his bat and looked up it meant India was going to win (more often than not). When even his centuries couldn't help gain victories (Test match against Pakistan, Sharjah tournament, World cup '96 group match against Sri Lanka, etc) the fans stopped expecting India to win. Instead they found a new event to look forward to - Sachin scoring centuries. It soon became a ritual which had lost its meaning through generations. Fans started celebrating the fact that he was a terror to bowlers from other countries. "Well! No one can take that from us!" they'd say to themselves in schools, offices, dhabas, outside television showrooms or any shop that had a television showing a cricket match.

With the arrival of Sourav Ganguly, the team not only got rid of its bugbear (match-fixing) but also shed its skin to be seen as a fighting team with winning as its quest. Fans now had other things to cheer about too. Other players to keep track of too. With the others often chipping in, the pressure on Sachin to perform in a do or die cause reduces and soon became non-applicable. In a phase where Sehwag was very consistent (mind you, his test average is still above 50 and for his strike rate, I needn't say more) I'd actually switch off my tv when Sehwag got out and I'd wonder how 'those' days were when Sachin getting out meant the game was over. This happened even as lately as in 2002. (Remember the Natwest final against England - 143/5 with Sachin out, India would have instantly experienced a plunge in electricity consumption!)

We started winning games more and more consistently with the rise of more and more individual match-winners. With the passage of time, akin to ripening of fruits and aging of wine, our batting order, the envy of the world was supposed to be more and more impregnable and unbeatable. You'd expect individuals visiting a foreign country for a test tour for the nth time in their careers; the very ones whose individual batting records would beat some lower ranked teams, would by now get so invincible that experienced bowling line-ups, let alone younger ones, would have nightmares about getting the team all-out.

For a fan like me, it was extremely disappointing to have won the tour in West Indies only 1-0. Losing to England 4-0 was a shame for the reasons mentioned above. Then coming back to home soil, we beat West Indies only 2-0 (where a 3-0 was doable)... It was very uneasy to see these performances. Optimists and those let-these-go-sayers would bring up a variety of arguments. Some of them included calling other teams "not the best". That, to me, still didn't justify India's shabby batting performances. I'll agree that we have had our problems with bowling teams out and so winning tests (and ODIs against strong batting units) was going to be difficult. Add to those problems BCCI's follies like 'attempting to prepare sporty pitches' which eventually would turn out to be neither turners nor bouncy but dead.

With Ganguly (weakest of the big 5 that we boasted through most of early 2000s) gone the other 4 had to carry on for some time as we slowly inducted younger players to play alongside the living legends, learn a few lessons about batting and not-losing if not winning. So late in 2011 New Zealand drew the test series 1-1 and announced that Australia was suspect against swing bowling. Memories from Steve Waugh's last series flashed and it seemed all correct, the way Zaheer and Irfan Pathan extracted wickets through swing. Hopes of the first ever series win in Australia were brimming. The new finds Umesh Yadav and Varun Aaron augmenting the already blooded Ishant and wise and crafty Zaheer meant that this was the first time our bowling was going to feel at home in Australia.

If winning, for some reason - like Ponting's getting back to form, Clarke stealing the thunder, viral flu attacking all Indian batsmen - was difficult, at least drawing tests this time was supposed to be walks in the parks. What happened then? How did we not manage to save a single test? The only ray of hope came out to be Virat Kohli! His 50 on a Perth wicket where everyone else failed showed promise. That's all!


Is it wrong to feel cheated now? 4 biggies whose experience put together is unbeatable by a whole squad of most other teams failed us yet again! Well, even if they had won us some series here and there, the loss this time was unacceptable. Why? Of course it was not acceptable because if we lost with such players, how could we hope to win series in the near future with all 4 (realistically) close to retirement. 2 of them are already out of the ODI and T20 squads so there is no debate on that front.

So when I, as a fan, wish and pray that Sachin retires, am I a blasphemer? Part of why I specifically am mentioning him is that the others have come to be ignored anyway. I don't want to get into statistical belaboring. I take my hats off to all that he has done. Now with the 100th 100 becoming the new craze nothing else seems to matter - not winning, not even a fighting performance. We are ready to tolerate a poor performance if Sachin would get his 100th 100. That is not acceptable for me. I think he has a lot of records and even has a World Cup now. I'd have appreciated if he retired right then. But then it was ok for him to carry on. No harm... But to what extent?? Is it okay if he keeps gifting his wickets to newbies who weren't even born when he scored his first century? Is it okay if India keeps losing despite him in the team?

When a team does badly, the seniors are supposed to take responsibility. So NOW what is the problem in asking Sachin to take ownership? We're okay with Dravid being hanged to death, Laxman being lynched, Sehwag being tortured to death, we even pick on newcomers for not performing, but we let Sachin get away? Somewhere I believe it is this very attitude that lets, the wrong-doers get away in India, politicians continue to rape us day in and day out and we ask for more!

In my honest opinion Sachin should retire. (Of course who am I to decide? No one. In fact if I had the power to decide there would have been no need to 2nd guess what he'd be doing by now.) If this was even a few years ago, I wouldn't have said all this and I didn't. There was his very lean patch years ago and I was praying for him to recover. Not now! As a well-wisher for Indian team I want one slot in the team to be unblocked for a youngster who, inspired by Sachin, could attempt to get close to his stature (if as most would say no one can ever be Sachin) soon and carry the baton forward. In a country with so much of talent I find it hard to understand the extra lenience being showered on a lost cause. And for those who are trying to convince yourselves or others that records don't matter to him I will feel scared for your gullibility. Not like it is bad to have such ambitions but don't preach about his altruistic and selfless intentions! At the end of the day he gets paid for what he is doing. He hasn;t been playing for free, you know? If he were really selfless and patriotic he'd have perhaps given IPL lesser priority than some tours he didn't go on.

To me the breaking point was first the England tour where I refused to take any excuse for the defeat and then the Australia tour. I think my prayer that all 4 biggies quit is fair. I also know that these prayers will not meet with any resistance for 3 of them but for the 4th one I'll even get death threats. That is what riles me and I hope people see the fan's cry in this tirade more than a random rambling and a trigger for a statistical war.

Please Sachin! Go while we still have time to recover from our wounds!

Scent of a woman - morning after version

Dazed, I wake up, morning after!
Straightening every nerve - each a drifter.

I am not, definitely, Al Pacino!
Yet, dance with her was eventful as El Nino!

All I have is the scent of her hands.
Bewitching, as witches and their wands!

Every word exchanged, in memory, is etched.
Forever, the dance, on heart's canvas is sketched!

Myth Ya Right! Awards

Thank you all for the encouragement of our efforts to put up what was Mithya's biggest production so far!

Personally I feel a big void in life because there is nothing to do. (Of course there is work, there are chores, activities here and there, but NO Practice! No time to while away anymore!) It is upsetting! For about 40 days or more the Mithya group has been involved in coming together and put up a play as serious, as intense and as big as this one. Is there any wonder, then, that there should be many memories attached to this play?

Now, I may write a mushy narrative of experiences during the play in future but for now, here is my tribute to all those involved in the play. I'll call them Myth Ya Right! Awards - more for the contortion of the original word than for lack of better names like Awards... (Only some find a mention but that is only because of my frequent interaction with them.)

The award for best:

Lighting: Saptarshi Bandyopadhyay - Not as much for stage lights and related labor as for displaying a kid-like glint in his eyes when he found a trolley on which he could stand and move about. Together with Sonal Mithal he successfully blared strong lights into everyone's eyes. No surprise then that he'd done something to cause the audiences to have tears in their eyes. At the sets he'd often climb up the ladder at the drop of a hat to stand right next to intense lights. He'd then pick a person to talk to, call him/her, the person would look up, and... well... profanity would follow!
His dedication to serious work would come to the fore when someone would mention food! From that mention to the time food was with him, he'd be serious about work. Then he'd get back to his buffoonery, often sounding like Sourav Ganguly!


Music: Ganesan, Nachiket and Usman - for successfully preparing actors and cue masters for SNAFUs or bloopers on stage. It was only one day before the actual play that they realized they weren't composing for a spoof. Until then they'd take turns to deliberately mistime the sound cues. It wasn't until the last show that everyone realized how much that helped the actors develop a knack for maintaining calm in the event of an actual F&&& up! Must be geniuses! About the music pieces, Usman was stunned to learn that he wasn't composing for Coke Studio or Atif Aslam's latest album!

Cue Manager (sound and light box): Sonal Mithal - After auditioning people for that role she only thought it morally improper to take up the lead role. So she decided to be the production manager. (Besides no one had the patience to appease Mithya's president should she fuss and cry over something!) One of the key hands behind making the Uncle look shabby, she'd not suggest a rockstar kind of costumes for the uncle! If the music and light folks were not bungling, it was Sonal who'd deliberately mislead Jay and others. That explains the nothing that was done on the first day the theater was handed to Mithya! Her fascination for fancy equipment overcame her and she used that whole day to play her version of PS3! Together with Saptarshi she'd create the occasional halos around actors under the pretext of faulty equipment!

Cue Master: Jay Chheda - For bungling Uncle Vinay's cues until even the final dress rehearsal. Sources say that he did that deliberately to have my on-stage presence to as minimum a time as possible! Sources also say that the director suggested this. After the award, I re-christen him to "Q (Kyu)Master?" He also gets the award for best backstage management because he had a very Old Parsi Pappa look a la Munnabhai MBBS! Some actors claim to have heard him say to himself between cues "Rani to pappani!" An actor complained in private that Jay's hastening between scenes nearly caused a dressing blooper that'd have caused nightmares to the on-lookers. Esp Mala Kathhhri!Also nominated and nearly won the award for Mr Consistent performer for having mimed Paperwallahs gay actions on all 3 shows from behind the stage! He only lost the award because he lost control of the backstage crew every time he did that. (Hard to get people to work when they're rolling on their stomachs!)

Make-up artist/Shadow actress: Sarah Brown - for working hard on make-up and doubling up as backstage crew as well as shadow of Mala! Her skills were more in the way she disguised her nervousness to show Mala's shyness/discomfort and reluctance at the psychiatrist's office! Rumors have it that she was the brain behind what is accepted as the Asst Director's master stroke of tiring/stressing the actors! She had minimum work to do then, but maximum credit for the make-up. Her item dances during practices earned her the sobriquet of "Gulaabon". Her ability to learn fast was demonstrated through her quick usages of un-parliamentary words in Hindi! Gulaabon delicately lent herself to the production work too. Or so she made people believe! No one realized her scheme of pointing to her shadow appearance as a reason for not doing much work. An actor under conditions of anonymity confessed that Gulaabon would just sit in the blue light backstage. He shudders at the thought of being revealed to her, lest he gets to hear her full range vocabulary in Hindi!

Publicity: Namita Narain and Ankit Chandra - Former (Namita) for bullying the actors into submission during interviews. But just when the actors realized they were being bullied, she'd sugar coat them with compliments and assurances to be natural on the cam. Flatter them with "You guys are amazing! I was always a tree in plays!" Word has it that she had to work on her bullying skills when despite all her efforts, there was a great turn-out for all 3 shows. We had to do something about the extra people that wanted to be let in... Her bullying worked wonders to hush up one actor who'd refuse to give up on his gimmicks! Always the one to add fire to fuel, she'd assure (false assurance) "setting up" between 2 people any time!

The latter (Ankit) more for publicizing his singing than directing all traffic to the latest play in the blog site until just the day before the 1st show. His altruism and efforts behind the stage were manifest in how he'd lend himself to the Asst Director as a favorite punch bag! His best contribution to publicity was to get his girlfriend to fly in from Pittsburgh. At the least that worked... His best production work was in getting food and thereby keeping perpetually hungry beings like Saptarshi interested in the play!

Director: Radha Venkatagiri - For being the Sonia Gandhi for her puppet (Sibin Mohan)! Her charm worked its way to new comers, one of whom would occasionally claim Radha to be his fiance instead of Radhika!
Also gets the award for assisting with the make-up (read: scrubbing faces and eyelids to redness/soreness). The important inspiration from her for everyone came when shed narrate fictitious tales of how she'd not get high at all and that she'd drink 10 shots and sue the liquor maker for making flavored water!

Assistant Director: Sibin Mohan - for his masterpiece when he came up with the idea to make the whole thing look natural. He is a Neo-director trying to make his mark but boy! His ploy to tire the headlights out of 2 actors such that they actually appear and act old (also tired) seemed to work wonders. Friends of the 2 actors who sat in the audience couldn't recognize them even days after the last show!
The stress was working on Mala Cuttery too except that Sibin, smartly, would pat her shoulder assuring that she was the best actress he ever worked with! It didn't work on Deepak because his mind was always on Hookah, Shayari and Liquor, not on the play! His best contribution was during those days that he wasn't in town for the practices!
He reportedly went on record saying that this was going to be his last play as a director. Pity the newcomers took that as a carrot tied to a stick. If only they'd known that that was what he mentioned last time too. The straight face that he puts it with often made onlookers think that he was Mithya's best actor so far!

Versatile actor: Mohin Khushani - for his versatile roles. His Looney Tunes-esque portrayal of the paperwallah, Sarkar-esque portrayal of the Barista and and Drunken-man-who-ain't-knows-the-difference-between-beer-and-wine portrayal of the Waiter wasn't what earned him the award. It was not even for his butt-thrusting a la Saurav Ganguly! His award was for wooing and accepting his co-star (a change from his days when he'd shudder at the thought of being seen with girls), for pretending to study for a fictitious exam when help was needed backstage and for his publicity interview. In fact the meaty part of his role was when he successfully held his chuckle and tried to seriously say that the person playing the Uncle was his favorite actor. To this day no one bought that, but hey he convinced himself! That is quality acting...

Junior artist/ Backstage intern: Dhruv Mehta - After his raunchy back massaging dance he'd slip into the production crew's dress code with more fuss than even Charlie Sheen could create! Dopey dance with wannabe accent seems to be the thing with Junior artists. They also refuse to share a dressing mirror/chair. He started the Junior Artists' rebellion in the dressing room but quietly led it from behind the Doofus-faced Khushani! Khushani would bark vehemently about how difficult it was to sit on a fellow Junior artist's lap during make-up etc. He'd create a ruckus in the dressing room, and when outside it, he'd look to show his non-existent cricketing prowess! Renuka, the jewelry designer and Nachiket's wife, held more sharp catches than Dhruv and Khushani put together!

Mr Nice guy/ soft spoken actor award: Aviral Jain - Coming from the village of La Mart-in-here he was always raised to leave enough room for the audience interpret the play in their own way! Very good practice except when it comes to saying one's dialogues so softly that the audience cannot hear anything, thereby leaving no choice but to imagine/extrapolate those lines!
His only line in the play (he used often) that made sense and men could readily associate with and feel ever so emotional about was "What do you mean? This just doesn't make sense!" (said with a gawky expression...)
The nice guy bit is for promising intoxicants to the lead actresses but never doing it. Chivalry indeed! Sources suspect the low-voice-syndrome in the play was because of repeated stress of the throat (read gasp+gulp) every time he saw Strawberries & Cream in action (read Girl-on-girl)!
He definitely helped keep everyone's moral high by plugging in earplugs and listening to random stuff instead of reciting Shayaris or narrating stories from Luck-No or La Marts! (In which case it gave Sonal - Aviral's best audience - an excuse to not work despite her not needing one.)

Actress/Glamdoll: Nisha Somnath - Every actor/actress in a given famous movie has a famous thing noted in it. Dharmendra for his "Yamla Pagla" dance and "Basanti in kutton ke saamne..." Amitabh for "Mera baap chor hai" Raj Kapoor for his right palm to the audience, light nod and Bambi eyes saying something like "Ok ji", Al Pacino's dance in "Scent of a woman", Yana Gupta's "Babuji" song.
Our Nisha has done it all. She oozed oomph through her high heels. That was the single major factor for her glamdoll tag. Her gait changed greatly with her skimpy and tight outfits, but not more than with the heels. A candid man in the audience wrote in his feedback, "Dear Mithya, all was ok! I loved everything about the play! But must you really have a horse to transport crew and actors from one side of the stage to the other?"
Her method acting must be lauded. She deliberately estranges her real life chemistry with her onstage mother and uncle so as to give her best performance. So what if despite that she couldn't act.
Her most noted lines/words in the play - "Eh! Did my scene with Spurr-tee come out well? I think it fell flat!"
"But how am I acting?" "Ehh I am not doing it well. Maybe you should find a better actress!" (Sibin's integrity was put to maximum test every time Nisha asked him for feedback on her acting. Best Director indeed!)
Words that really moved/reduced the co-actors to tears, "Deii! You are Deid! There is no Llleww for me! Lizzen!" (for Die! You are dead! There is no love for me! Listen!) (from sitting on chair to ROTFL, i.e.)

Upcoming star/Stacey's mom: Spurti Akki - for integrating her on-stage character into real life behavior. Every time a co-actor would ask her for coffee she'd readily peruse her lines from the play, "Huh? (and look lost)" Her peak acting was when she'd be upset over not being allowed to go to her "lab". (At the rate at which she was claiming things about her lab and/or work she should got either a Nobel Prize or an Oscar!)
Her portrayal of Mala's mother beat "Stacey's mom" by miles! People went gaga over her - not as much for her graceful looking saree as much for her impressions of old actresses in old songs.
Nisha's lines may or may not make her famous, but this starlet's lines "It is going to rain ALL NIGHT!" said no less than a million times by now will occupy the Mithya billboards for eons to come! In a given play her frustration (at the weather forecast not being heeded to) building up each time she said the line was impressive and definitely what made audiences go back home with a moral of the story! Last heard from sources, she was considering a career switch. She wants to replace Ravi Shastri as a cliche generator! (Both lines from the play and outside of it!)
She's taken to stardom like a Royal pig takes to a dirty sty! Last seen on the streets she was throwing tantrums about a spoon not being at the precise temperature in a restaurant and that it was hard for her to maintain her schedules with so many people interrupting her for autographs!

Best actress overall: Who said you needed to be on stage or in the whole movie to act? Anthony Hopkins won Oscar for a short duration in the film! Radhika is our such example. She went a step ahead. As an actor that never appeared, she mixed her emotions in an inimitable manner - romance, anger, catwalk, understanding and sharing & caring nature, etc!

Special thanks: Mehul Thakkar - for making his involvement with this play a minimum. With the feedback from the play and with more ideas, he is sure he can do better at that!

Danville Development

I was listening intently, nodding occasionally, trying to be normal and sensitive to them. I was trying to appear calm and normal. I wasn't sure if I was able to pull it off! Here I was, thinking I was a good actor, capable of masking my emotions, but I felt shabby!
I was in a class of "Civil Rights" course and there was a general discussion going on. At best a fairly aware, knowledgeable and analytical person, I was in awe of my classmates. I somehow felt awkward, filled with pity and yet strongly respectful of them. These were the inmates at the Danville prison. Black men of varying ages were discussing the Civil rights in the US between 1955 to 1970 with equanimity.

Those who were aged 45 plus were calm and oozed wisdom. The ones who seemed around my age had a zest in their eyes. In the eyes of Juan I saw lost opportunity, remorse and penance. That was what I saw. Maybe another person would have seen the zeal to learn the many things he can while at the Danville prison.
I glanced, observed and peered at the others too with a hope to see what insight I could gain into their lives - now and in the past - but the harder I tried the more I exposed myself. The deeper I looked into their eyes the more I felt like screaming out to the world, "Give them a chance!" They were better people than some of those who roam free and wild in the world! To think that they give themselves as bad examples to their kids, urging them to not follow on their paths, made me feel depths of the low feeling one gets when one is helpless and sad! I imagined a 'regular' father telling his son, "Behave well or you'll be like one of these prisoners!"

Now I turned focus to one of my classmates and imagined what he'd say to his kid!

The discussions in the room left me stimulated. People were ready to absorb what I had to offer. It was a place where ideas could float freely and everyone could assimilate them without restriction. Majid (Otis) said, "Democracy and Capitalism were conflicting." I couldn't stop admiring this bespectacled gentleman ever since that line.
Will, who sat next to me, explained how there were colored fountains back in those days. The ease with which this topic was being discussed, the ease with which he was explaining the idea to me and the readiness with which he was absorbing whatever I had to say about casteism in India was astounding. Majid was quick to point out the similarity between casteism and racism. I had, by then, eased into the home made by the prisoners for themselves. So much so that I quickly argued like I would with my friend, if he offended me!
In between classes, I was greeted by Anthony and he spent most of his break time interacting with me and asking me about my life. I only felt it was natural for me to ask him about his. "Fridays we have classes which we look forward to. We love to learn! We get college credit, too, for this. Tuesdays and Mondays we spend time reading books at the resource room. Some of us even go back to our cells and spend time thinking about their paper/thesis!" As if that, something more privileged students like me hardly ever did (concentrate so much on academics), wasn't enough I asked him, "And what do you do the rest of the week?"
"Oh nothing! We're in a prison, you know?"
"Uhh ummm..." At this point I momentarily felt embarrassed and uneasy! I didn't mean to offend him but somehow it registered that that question could've so easily disturbed him! But Anthony was ahead of me! He smiled and moved on telling me that I should share my knowledge in calculus and algebra with some of them. Or even paper writing... That simple act of his put me in awe of him! He didn't care to be offended with minor things. He even saw the humor in it. All he cared for was to interact with me and to thank me for taking time out to visit him.

They had welcomed me and other visitors like me to their place. Without their genial, warm, outreaching attitude towards us, I am sure we wouldn't have been able to call this one of our most enjoyable days in life - a sentiment echoed by every visitor unanimously!
I started the trip when the weather was bright, gently cold and still. I ended the trip with the weather breezy and chilly! My emotions and state of mind followed the weather pattern too. It was hard to not give in to the conversion of emotions to tears. I maintained my calm and nonchalance!
I learned important lessons and I wish to thank the inmates of the Danville Prison (Danville, IL) for making me a better person today!

Yawn beginning to long weekend

You'd imagine people in authoritative public service positions won't be frivolous to have whims and fancies. Serious ambitions, normally acceptable hobbies - yes! You could let them have those.

What really doesn't gel well with my philosophy on life is to start construction work at the beginning of a long weekend, or even at the end of it. And NO! Leaving materials from construction strewn doesn't count as sane. This tendency must stop. Can there not be, in the name of all that is human and Godly, better planning which leads to most work done way before a long weekend starts so that by friday afternoon, for example, good intentioned vacationers can peacefully and assuredly plan their trips?

For a stretch of not less than 30 miles was there traffic which would often come to a standstill. Now certainly it cannot be that vacationers planning to go to place A suddenly change lanes to get on the route to place B. One or two may do it, but all cannot b doing it.

Are the authorities listening or are they waiting for some such victim of traffic to write about it and then secretly snigger after reading it?
@Security check officials - What does a fellow do if he missed his flight due to whatever outlandish reasons but gets a boarding pass for early hours the next day? Just sit outside randomly somewhere? Why won't you just check him in and let him be there in the terminal somewhere, where he can dine, wine & whine and rest!

@O'Hare folks - why won't you have some good eating joints in airport premises for those unlucky souls who haven't been let into the lounge area by the security officials? Maybe it is time you open up to a business idea?

It is said great ideas come from a necessity. This comes from someone who missed a flight after driving about 150 miles. The last 50 of them were surely frustrating.

This message is for parents - I am sure each of you would love for your children to be up there! Please encourage your children in not only fine arts but also coarser arts. Arts that include formation of new words without fear of being labeled rebellious or blasphemous. This helps cut down crime. Consider this. You have a flight to catch in 20 min and you are about 15 min away and the traffic is moving at the rate at which an annual snail marathon would proceed! You could do with innovative words to express your emotions and vent your negative energy. Without this, your child may actually misbehave on the roads and cause accidents!

I regret my mom didn't teach me particularly good abusive words to start building upon. Fortunately she has a smart son who can surprise himself with his creativity! Something good came out of missing my flight, you'd say!!!

And now I have to plan how to sleep in this not so cozy chairs here... Mommy! I need more words!!!

A year as good as life summary

At every stage of one's life one has moments when they think to themselves, "This is it! This is the toughest moment in my life."
To elaborate or enumerate each one would be of not much point but here are a few points:
1- In 9th std I'd wonder how people would memorize all texts for the final board exam. Did it somehow.
2- In 11th I wondered how I'd get into Engineering (I was sure I didn't want to pursue a career in Medicine). I did.
3- With horrible performance in academics I was worried if I'd ever get placed and get a job. I got a job when I least expected. I didn't even dress for the interview. Went in  raggedy jeans and tee-shirt.
4- Had absolutely no clue of work there and often spent 15 to 17 hour work days for a whole week or 2.
5- Change of job. Cleared all tech rounds and was selected. Got stuck at HR process tussle between 2 companies. Was so disappointed that I thought that was the end of my hopes. A wise man - my dad - said more opportunities will come. If you are capable enough you'll never have a problem. And true to his words I did get another job in a month from the HR related failure.
6- Quitting work to pursue MS. My manager thought I wasn't too technically strong for a research oriented job profile. That did enough to poke my ego and I decided to do Masters - that which my dad had long been vocalizing about. The whole application process was draining.
7- Masters was relatively a breeze except that brand UIC didn't seem to help get a job. So again the worry of how to, where to and when to get the job.

Exactly 1 year back I joined Riverbed Technology. It wasn't exactly my dream job given my background was more in Embedded Systems and Processor Architecture. However I took it up. The first 2 or 3 months were so hazy that I had no clue what I was doing, what was expected of me, how I was being judged etc, Leaving all my friends in Chicago necessitated making new friends here and having some life here too.
Began playing tennis, cricket and visiting Chicago every weekend. I'd look forward to weekends so much that I'd start planning on wednesdays. And until Tuesdays I'd be hung over fro the previous weekend.

Aug 14th - I fractured my thumb playing cricket and surgery was the only go. A man of weak heart when it comes to hospitals and medical procedures can't imagine such a thing being done on him. Between a syringe poke and death I'd pick the latter. And yet with some bravery I went ahead with the surgery. I took pics of my thumb with pins jutting out of it. Surely brave of me!

Weeks leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays saw me work 12 to 14 hours a day for a week at a stretch, This wasn't demanded at work but I thought to take up the challenge to finish my tasks earlier than estimated. By now I started enjoying my work and decided to  do well here. Things changed and for good. I started living in Champaign rather than merely counting my breaths here during weekdays and rushing to Chicago for weekends. I did a play in late Fall and enjoyed meeting new people and befriending some people. These are people I'd always look forward to meeting and sharing ideas! I joined writers' club and quit because of lack of time.

I visited many places - Las Vegas, Toronto and San Francisco noteworthy of the places.

The cycle of working late nights is back now and I am happy to be working. My only loss is personal life. From how I was maybe a couple of years back and maybe in undergrad to now - I mellowed and quietened a lot. Life does things to you. Friends come, friends drift. There is an underlying depression when you think that eventually all friends will slowly start drifting apart though not necessarily in a sour way. There are minor achievements you feel proud of and there are mistakes that you rue.

On social front I perhaps made a lot of acquaintances but I lost some friends and their love for me. Or so I feel. At times it is not the million friends you have on Facebook but it is 1 person you could turn to any time and preferably a 2-way traffic at that.

New crushes, not so enthusiastic pursuance, familiar stories of no reciprocation for various reasons, odd people randomly asking, "How come you aren't hooked up yet?"
Wanting to buy a dream car but ending up buying a car that has a dream owner. Poor credit to much improved credit history. And now plans to go to India, meet my parents, grandparents, answer questions about marriage and plans ahead, go to places esp in Andhra Pradesh.
So many things lined up but this blog is mainly to celebrate my 1 year at work - Riverbed Technology and 1 year at Urbana-Champaign - a place I thought I could never live in, given I am a big city person. I'd recommend UC to all people who have a taste for a life filled with variety.

Here's a cheers to my 1 year which has been as good as a summary of people's lives for fives or tens of years or even whole lives.

Protest done? Now put in some thought too, please!

I have a problem. I am not sure who is going to solve it. I am not sure if it is ever going to be solved.

How should I feel if I am promised a free land, free food supply and general free stuff like maybe a car and then there slowly start coming out conditions (fine print) to get those! And what if the conditions (fine print) sound eerily similar to my present condition (state of affairs)?

I am talking about Jan Lokpal Bill! I am particularly interested in (and now concerned about) the recommendations made by JLB! In the beginning I was cursing everyone who didn't help spread the message of India Against Corruption (IAC). Everyone! If my dad was active on Facebook and he did anything other than spread the awareness I'd have disowned him. Such was the intensity of my feelings about JLB!

Here was some revolution which had the potential of that which happened in Egypt. It had the capacity to involve all of the Indian population except the 500 to 2000 odd politicians that may exist in India. Everybody has had at least one experience that he/she could narrate with a red face! It needed everyone to be/speak/think/act in unison! We needed to show the government the most naked form of democracy - where we are actually exercising the by, for and of the people part of governance or policy/decision-making.

After the initial apathy, born to one parent being the Cricket World Cup 2011, we somehow achieved the unison mentioned above. Even if it was mere signatures gathered, Facebook clicks (the laziest method yet a comforting and blinding one in that people think they have done their good for the day, but not quite) we did gather some momentum. The news of Annaji Hazare breaking fast was sweeter than the World Cup victory for me and perhaps for a few others.

Yet, now, as I read some recommendations, watched some videos of the campaign and read some blogs and editorials, I can't help but feel this is eerily reminiscent of the story in the book - "Animal farm" by George Orwell. It starts of with the pigs starting a revolution against the tyranny of man. Then all the animals decide to create a new world for themselves. But then hey! It is a society (coming together of different animals) right? So there have to be basic rules so that one animal doesn't hurt the other to live and yet thrive. The rules or laws start showing their loopholes and shortcomings. The pigs who take the responsibility of governance start stiffening the rules so as to tax (tax as money and tax as demanding) themselves lesser than the other animals.


Slowly and soon the animals realize that being under man was no different or no worse than being under the pigs. What hurt more was that the pigs were considered their own once upon a time! The story ends with some animals sneaking in through one of the windows of the pigs' residence. The pigs are enjoying drinks with men!

Other people had concerns with fasting unto death as a means of protest or being called democratic! I have my own opinions and presently don't wish to discuss that. My problem is with the election of the members of Jan Lokpal organization! "There is no political way of electing members. This is done strictly apolitically!" Although it sounds correct at the first glance, it doesn't quite sound so if you think about it enough. So how would the members or judges be selected? Highest level judges will select the members. Members will also be among the Padma Bhushan awardees.
Again, first glance - Wonderful! What more can be asked for?

Think carefully! The last few years of awards seemed like government doing favors to some select "blessed" people more than sheer merit! If this method of selection of members is accepted, I don't see how the government can't meticulously start bestowing awards to people whom they can groom. Sooner than later, we'll have yet another corrupt organization in our country and zillions of dreams of India-2020 shattered and all future sparks (public endeavors) to try to bring about a renaissance will be doused (mostly with diffidence, skepticism and a feeling of helplessness).

I am surprised that a panel consisting of Kiran Bedi, Anna Hazare and other prominent personalities could come up with only such flawed recommendations! Or was this indeed a government scheme to capture public rage and give it a vent into another universe? Will one of my most revered and admired personalities turn out to be a public traitor? Or even if she doesn't, won't the future members be so easily prone to corruption that this whole exercise would have become wasted?

It did not end with Facebook campaigns/clicks or candlelight protests. Let there be more debates! Let there be more awareness and involvement! Let us take some time out to come up with ideas ourselves, and then recommend them to the government before pushing for acceptance! Let us not give ourselves and our children a chance to blame us!

A letter to Maheen Sadiq

Dear Maheen,

Like every touching article naturally evokes reactions, most of which manifest as comments, you could take this as my elaborate reaction.

You almost hit the nail on the head when you said, "Cricket speaks to our nation in a way our government never has." I say "almost" because east of your border, it turns out to be true for us too! We rejoice when our team wins - like we did on March 30th when we beat your team. We crash in despair when we lose out - much like you did especially in 2007 World Cup. We admire our stars but we admire them more when they unite as a team to play.

Cricket as a medium to communicate with you seems the easiest. What an irony that it takes a game introduced by the very nation that divided us and filled us with hatred for each other, to break the ice, to understand each other, to embrace each other and to respect each other!

Take for instance the Semifinal game after which your beloved captain apologized to the nation. As much as we were proud of our team and ignored the opposition here on this side of the television... As much as you all were sour about losing to our team in the semifinal... All was gone when we saw Afridi smiling and genuinely congratulating each and every player of our team! Though we were celebrating and didn't have time to voice the sympathy and respect, I am sure every sane and mature person subconsciously acknowledged it. All ice was instantly broken!

So much so that I'd like to give you another point in support of that theory. At least personally at knockout stages whenever we defeated another team I would for a brief moment feel sad for the opposition. This happened in 2003 World Cup when we thrashed all teams except Australia. This time, not for a moment I felt any sympathy for the Australian team! I felt sadistically happy! But every moment in my celebration after the Semifinal win I subconsciously stood up and took my hats off to Afridi and the whole team.

Only someone who is dishonest or "extremely diplomatic" would say that Pakistan deserved to win this World Cup. I am being truthful - Pakistan didn't have a team to win this World Cup and India for once were favorites. Being an Indian my blood was boiling seeing Misbah bat the way he did. I was shocked that they spilled 4 chances at getting Sachin out. There were jokes doing rounds suggesting that maybe Afridi actually meant "We'll let Sachin score his 100th 100!"


Your team did well to reach this stage. Your team did even better to conduct themselves in the manner in which they did.

As a player - Afridi was one of my most hated. He was never a responsible player. How he got out in the semifinal and T-20 2007 final are but 2 examples out of the many there are. The comparisons with Sehwag were even more irritating and completely unjustified. His demeanor often made me think he is an arrogant brat. Maybe he was and maybe he changed. And the semifinal did just make me stand back and take a look at this person as a person! Hang on! Here is someone who looks just like our players when they lose! Here is someone who knows people back home will be sour, hurt and dismayed - just like back here!

Now after I read your post to Mr Afridi, my heart was filled with warmth! Your words weren't jazzy but you did it with simple words. Just the way Afridi pleased us all with his simple smile. I didn't much like the comments about not liking the US because after having living here for a couple of years I realized that the average people here are like us too. We let politics and diplomacy dictate our judgments towards each other and we should slowly stop poisoning our minds this way. I am sure now you'll definitely understand what I meant.

We hated Pakistan and Pakistanis after 26/11 blasts. We hated Pakistan after every terror attack. And we could be justified in doing so. Our lives were lost. Then we hear of blasts in Lahore and we are perplexed. We realize that it is simply not all population of India against all population of Pakistan! Neither you folks love constant conflict nor us. Again I'll use cricket to explain this.

One thing that US can do that neither India nor Pakistan can do independently is "2nd level diplomacy". It is in the US that I took to playing cricket after 11 years. I cautiously joined a team with 9 or 10 of them Pakistanis. Every move of mine was measured and I'd looked and observed carefully every person. In a few days after I joined the team there were blasts in Lahore. My teammate was on phone talking to friends and relatives back in Pakistan. He was worried and almost in tears hearing the voices of his near and dear ones. I wasn't surprised but it was reinforcing something that was buried deep in subconscious. That we are the same. You do exactly the same thing that we do when we hear of mishaps back home. You care for nothing as much as peace and development back home, as we do. Love for cricket and movies, hatred for politicians, festivities, ceremonies, clothes, colors, "mitti ki khushbu", "mithhaiyaan"...

At this point nothing more needs to be said except this. Let us not depend on our politicians for progress. You and me - we can take small steps. Our baby steps multiplied by our sheer number can do a lot more than these politicians giant steps often backed by hidden motives! Let us start a new and grass-root level of diplomacy - "2nd level diplomacy" or "People diplomacy"!

Let us continue to bring about peace through our friends and acquaintances! We can definitely progress on this much better than if we were to depend on the Zardaris or Singhs or whoever next. On second thoughts, maybe our premiers should invite each other every time there is a cricket match at either side of the border. That way at least we get to explore our commonness and contemplate peace and unity!
Cheers.

Yours sincerely,
Varun

PS: I invite you to watch the next Ind-Pak match at my place :)

Why I can't be an atheist?

Why you?

Thank God it was me. Hopefully it ended with me. Don't want such a thing happening to even my enemy...

You don't have enemies!

In theory, son...

He scarred your face. He gave you pain. You can't even smile. The very attempt to smile and infuse energy in people causes you pain!!! Is that what your 'God' gave you for being a gem of his children

He protected me from worse!

What absurd logic is that? I refuse to take that.

You are too harsh on God.

You only help others. You go out of your way for others. You feed every poor person you meet. You feed every hungry person that walks in to your house. Many a soul are blessed to even have eaten your hand-cooked meals. You are stupid enough to be unconditionally affectionate, warm, welcoming and kind to others. You are especially kind to rejected, lesser children of 'God'! Why you?

Maybe my wrongs in previous lives...

What kind of 'God' is he if he can't dish out punishments as and when wrongs are done? Why should I believe in your 'God'? Why is he a 'God' if he can only punish you now for being flawless? Even in your thoughts I haven't seen you harm anyone. You made backstabbers feel ashamed of themselves by your warm treatment towards them... I am justified in being an atheist!

You have to be open enough to understand his ways, son! I am happy I am done away with this now, than later, at an older age, when I have reduced tolerance to pain!

How can you be so positive amidst so much pain and agony? Well, maybe I should believe in God. I should believe in you... I should, because you do exist!

(GET WELL SOON MOM!)

Almighty customer care center

"All right, will someone stand up and take responsibility, now?" Was all I could ask." For the whole day, I had my ID/Access card in my pocket and I was searching for it everywhere except in it. Then when I looked for it in the pocket in the morning, I didn't find it. I went to office preparing myself for limiting bladder discharge in the day. Every visit needed Access card to get back into my office. I forgot that I kept it in my pocket like a programmed machine. It just didn't register. I thought I was forgetful and so must've forgotten to put the card in the pocket. So much for self-confidence!
On this day, that I called  a call center already, sorting out a cellphone bill (I apparently spoke for a good 1100 min (not so good with the amount it cost me) in daytime during that month and 1100 or more on nights and weekends!) I could have done with another.
So here is another 1-800 number that I'd like to call now. Picture something like this...
1-800-COOL-GOD-4-U : "Hi! Welcome to God's customer service center.  Press 2 for Spanish! {Pause}
{Continuing in English} To make a request (prayer) press 1. For divine support press 2. For other options please press 3. For thanksgiving press 9999999999! (Hardly used option! So much so, even God is skeptical it happens...)"
I pressed 3. An auto-voice said, "Your call may be monitored for quality purposes."
"Hi I am an angel, how may I help you?"
"Hi, this is, uhhmm, Varun. I wish to talk to someone who could help explain why I am dumb."
"Oh that is grievance cell. Currently there are a 6999999998 people who are on line. Please wait while we transfer you there."
"What! That's just 2 short of the world population! Who are those 2 kind souls who are saving me some time?"
"Uhhmm! Those would be Rajnikanth and Tom Cruise, sir!"
"Aaahhhh! I should've known", I thought!
After much wait, my call was attended to.
"Hi I am calling to find out why I am so dumb? Rather, so absent-minded?"
"For security purpose, sir, could you verify your date of birth for us?
"Dec 30th 1984"
"Thank you! And your caste?"
"What??? Why would YOU need my caste?"
"We're trying to adopt the Indian political systems. What with India Shining and all... Besides, Ayodhya thing finally being resolved slowly over eons!!! You know that's how God likes to do things - slowly but assuredly!"
"So, are God, Allah and Shiva, Vishnu, and the gang all different? They are all friends up there, at least, I hope!"
"Ok sir, that confirms that you indeed are dumb! We need no further security verification! Please hold a moment while we pull up your records!"
{What! I thought that was everyone's question! Why am only I dumb? Oh well, that is what I was supposed to get sorted out anyway!}
"Sir, we have your records pulled up. Since it is a lot of data, would you like to ask specific questions?"
"Sure! Why am I absent-minded? For example..."
"Sir, we are sorry! There was a mistake in your design! You were manufactured in God's Taiwan dept. We thought of a recall, but your head was already out by then... We could credit you though if you..."
"What? Credit?"
"Yeah, like how it happened with your Verizon phone bill? ROTFL. How did you manage that sir? There was no mistake on Verizon's part, though. In our case, we'd like to apologize for our mistake and credit your next life with better stuff."
"So what would that make me?"
"A silicon implant, sir!"
{Sigh!}
"So why exactly am I defective?"
"God was watching Sachin Tendulkar bat..."
"What! Wasn't he just 11 then?"
"Yes, he was musing over his creation and seeing how at that young age he was developing and all! You know, customer feedback and market survey etc?"
"Aaarrrghghghgh!"
"Besides, at about that time there were a lot of cries. Tragedy befell a lot of places. Chernobyl, Bhopal, assassinations, etc. People killed, people praying out of fear. They hardly pray during prosperity, you know! And never for the good of all! For statistics, the most used word in prayers is 'I'."
"So distractions did it all huh!"
"Yes sir! Glad you understand. Is there anything else I could assist you with?"
"Is there nothing else that could be done now?"
"You are a goof! Be happy. Your goofiness is a source of entertainment for people."
"Not for my mom, for example!!!"
"Well, your records show that in your absence, she giggles about it. Your aunts do that too. In future they'll tell your children stories of your dumbness!"
"Thanks for driving it in!"
"To help yourself, sir, maybe you should try smart things, like not playing cricket when you haven't yet recovered from your fractured thumb!"
"I love that game!!!"
"And so you let it systematically disintegrate you? Sir, we could escalate this problem higher up but at this point I must warn you, that further inquiries would have a negative impact on your Credit history in the US."
"I'm not surprised! Is there anything in the world or in the universe that can actually boost up your credit history rather than damage it?"
"None that we know of, sir! Only Osama bin Laden and such minded people are exempt. They can get away doing all that they want. Only Iraq, Iran and innocent lives are threatened always!"
"I observed that the evil get to live richly and nicely. No worries. Isn't it supposed to not work that way?"
"Sir, we are bringing up upgrades and enhancements to our systems. It is slated to be in future after Kali Yuga. You could stay subscribed to our updates for INR 200000 per month."
"No thanks! But I am curious you take INR?"
"That's the in thing sir. Nothing with $$$ these days. We're hoping for India Shining and all but it needs entrepreneurs and all. We all know people only talk and do nothing except post videos on FB about Glorious India! People like you should tighten up and aim high. That will at least earn you more credit than to be just a silicon implant in the next birth!"
"Can I not be a writer?"
"And just torture more people? Aren't we talking about making the world a better place to live in?"
"Oh! So I need more improvement in my writings then?"
"You're getting there... Already some improvement in understanding words. Now clean the wax in your ears sir. In most of your friends' prayers, we record 2 common problems - 1: Why doesn't he hear properly? 2: Someone make him eat fast! At least 1 morsel an hour! Is there anything else I could assist you with?"
"Thank you, nothing for now."
"Thank you for your time, and sleep tight, cause 'you look wonderful tonight...' Hah hahaha! Just kidding. We love Clapton in here!"
"Eric Clapton and all! Thanks good night!!"

By the way...

My status update on Facebook evoked some expected reactions. Some were unexpected. Now that's perhaps my current state of mind that makes those unexpected...
So here as the original status "Caution: A right thumb fracture and a surgery on it can make you walk and behave like a pregnant woman!"
Of course it is difficult to believe it could be that awkward, but then take my word, it is that way!
Why, one may ask, should one take my word? Because I am suffering and also, before the surgery I could move about normally even using the rest of my fingers easily.

So here are some of the thoughts that came to my mind as I was trying to answer people's questions! First up, the justification behind my status message:
Please note that I meant every word of it. That doesn't necessarily mean I experienced both sides of the comparison! But then you needn't die in front of an oncoming train to know you'll die if you stand up against a train!

Common behavior between a pregnant woman and Varun (tempted to speak in 3rd person. Makes self-jesting that much easier...):
1 - Walks very slowly and carefully as if to try not to disturb the balance in the universe!
2 - Feels like sleeping and resting more.
3 - Feels hungry more than normal and when sits to eat, loses apetite!
4 - Temper tantrums? Ummm maybe that explains why I talk lesser than normal?
5 - Morning sickness? That is almost everyday (surgery or not). I am not a mornings person!
6 - Putting on weight (my face looks the broadest ever, now)!

Common expressions one may hear from Varun (tempted to speak in 3rd person) these days that one also may have heard a pregnant woman use:
1 - Ouch!
2 - I feel like puking!
3 - I feel it is moving!!!
4 - Look! It is moving!!!
5 - It is pushing!
(3, 4 & 5 refer to what I feel about my thumb inside the cast. Won't mention what 3, 4 & 5 mean for a pregnant woman! :p )

2 thumbs up!

It wasn't the best of the starts I could have had, I must say. The round of events should justify the "Vicissitudes" in the blog's name.
Roughly 6 weeks into my romance with my newly wed, I've had not so good stuff happen in personal life. Moving to a nice little university town (Urbana-Champaign), working full-time in the day, playing tennis every evening, playing cricket on weekends and visiting Chicago on weekends to meet friends and spending time at Brand "918 SC" with some new officers ramping up to carry the torch/brand forward were a lot of things to do in an average week. However a freak accident while playing cricket led to a fractured right thumb. That not only put a comma (maybe coma too) to my activities but also dented my spirits. (Being denied a car loan sort of added to the irritation.)
Now, being advised to undergo a surgery to correct my thumb dented my spirits beyond imagination. At about the same time, I even got a speeding ticket and a parking ticket. Being a proud driving student of my father, this put me to shame.

I didn't know if any inspiration would work to humor me away from the glum, nauseating, knocking-off thoughts. When I was getting my thumb a splint of plaster of paris, next to me was sitting an old lady. I tried not to look at her for the fear of accidentally letting my eyes land on her injury/wounds/fracture. A hyper imagination has caused to me faint for even trivial things like a vaccination.
The lady was perhaps in her 70s or so. She sounded frail. Her words trembled, more because they came from a very old throat than out of nervousness. Despite being in the deepest thoughts about my surgery and being worried, I lent my ears to her words. She talked about this and that. Suddenly she exclaimed, "Oh wow! I will have new bandages!" It sounded so like a kid getting a new dress. I couldn't help but chuckle. Next she was being given some covering, supporting boots.

"These look like ski boots! I could go skiing!"
This time I guffawed! It may not be the quality of the joke as much as the spirit of the old lady! There was my inspiration to get back the kid Varun who'd bravely go to hospitals and impress the doctors and surgeons. My surgery is due on friday Sep 3rd 2010. While I wait to see which of my friends can be with me that day at the hospital, the lady and her words will go a long way towards my mental strength.
Here is to your humor and the timing, lady!
My original title for this post was - Fractured thumb - rebuilt humor.
I changed it to the current title to not only archive her words but to also implement my resolve to keep my humor (which I learned from her).
And yeah, prayers are welcome - In cash or kind. Even 2 thumbs up would do ;)

As the curtains draw on my Chicago episode...

... the show must go on.

Nothing changes. Maybe a few bedbugs that had erstwhile lived on my blood may die. Although I feel sorry for those lives, there is not a lot I could do. I believe that if I survive, I could always feed many more bugs that'd black-cat me. (Refer to my prev blog post for what I mean by Black-cat.)

Tina (my landlady) may not have to look out and see if there is Varun loitering around in the front yard or back yard before going out. Assuredly she can go about her chores/ walks without having to forcibly participate in conversations struck by me.
Vinay can, without scruples, go about watching movies and TV, partying about the place, guzzle tons of rice at one go (even become a Vodka distributor, maybe) and do anything he wishes to and Varun will not criticize him. Vaibhav can pretend to be an angel that he is not for all he cares. Will Varun be able to find out? Nope! Pavan can continue his daily mad-scientistry at UIC for another 3 years without worrying that someone would point fingers at his ways of daily life. Konark will lose out on not much. He won't have to worry about someone reminding him that Chicago may not be the best place for an Electrical Engineer like him. The only loss is losing one of the fellows who'd discuss life at Wipro!

Saahithi will surely be the most relieved of all people. The 'egoistic', 'proud' and 'boastful' Varun will not be around to make her life look ordinary. Sapna won't have a lightly flirtatious guy trying to make a gazillion trip plans for a group of which, eventually, only a 10% may materialize. The more recent close friends in Bhavani, Smruthi, Ryan will surely miss Varun but will also have ways of finding themselves easier and more fun friends than him. (It is not all that easy to replace the fun that the duo of Babbaii and Raingod can provide!) Nisha, Sruthi and Sacheeta will be spared of the ordeal of Varun and his aura! No one to breathe down her neck claiming that her sister is the prettiest in the world :p; no one to call her 'jaanemann' and try to make her smile; no one to comment on the 1-D body and her cuteness/prettiness. Pranali will miss 'someone' at all but the kind of person she is, she will have plenty of overwriting people. Teja (Miss Warangal) will no longer be able to have a guy trying to recollect which beautiful actress she resembles - perenially!

Pushkar and Venkat are safe already because they left Chicago for their work. Now how does this affect my personal life? I have not much clue except that my pockets will start getting regularly filled. I am happy to get started with this new phase of life. It let's me not only survive but also thrive and be able to spend time in future with friends - as opposed to theoretically staying in Chicago "forever" (romantic yet cruelly impossible).


On the flip side of this all, moving to Champaign can so easily be pushed away as "Oh he is not going really far!" I already had almost everyone say it. My wisdom and experiences tell me that that is the first sign of readiness to let go off! Presence, companionship, memories, ... etc! Everyone thinks, "Oh he is always gonna be around!" I'd think, "I can always make it to any party, meeting or plan..." At this moment I'd neither support nor refute this half-developed theory. I'd be glad to have as many people as possible to have fond memories of me! (Oh wait! I am not yet dying! :D )
I'd enjoy a bye-bye call or visit.

PS: The grievances, due to Varun, of some of the people who black-catted him are greatly understated. Some or all of the specimen have a truckload of complaints on him. But then hey! What good is it having yet another bland acquaintance!

Parting shots:
So what, one may ask, are Chicago/UIC going to lose by the moving out of Varun?
Possible statistics will reveal improvements in:
1) Average height of humans in Chicago.
2) Average strands of hair per square-inch of scalp.
3) Average sanity level in general.
4) Average speed of eating a meal.
5) Number of inquisitive and question-mark expressions.

There will be a reduction in:
1) number of adventurists/triers in the city.
2) number of Walking-enthusiasts.
3) number of movie-critics, esp those movies by Tom Cruise and his kin (acting-wise). (Oh how horrible agonizingly painful it is to watch his movies. I'd rather watch our native - Rajnikanth's - movies than Tom Cruise's!)
4) average beer consumption in the city/ university.
5) number of odd jokes which get a "I don't know what that was about..." reaction!

Again not an exhaustive list, but then the idea was to have some parting shot at all... Adios friends! Adios UIC! Adios Chicago!