A woman like you

Oh do you know how beautiful you are, lass?
A mere picture of you projects your style and sass!

The Angels love your twinkling eyes.

So does that guy who sees them and sighs!

He should describe your smile, so vivacious,
who was hitherto mute, but now loquacious!

Just to hear your ringing laughter,
men would line up before dawn; not after.

Because all it takes to make their day
is the sight of you laughing away!

People stare at emptiness wondering, like freaks,
then realize, a thousand roses made your cheeks!

Sitting at a bar in your lovely black dress,
you may think renaissance or your hair you may caress!

You'd see diffident men if only you care to notice
them nervously looking for a chance they shouldn't miss!

What they won't give up to show you they are smart?
A chat with you is a high, Oh Science blended with Art!

Your conversation has a power to trigger a Renaissance!
Your intelligence and beauty make men long for romance!

Oh Wonder Woman, do not let one man tarnish the rest for you.
In your Guardian Angel's wings is this man who'd die for you!

To a lovely damsel in distress who could easily rule the world but who just seemed to lose hope in men, too. What I wouldn't give to meet and convince her that my poem is true.

The greater man

It some times can be unnerving, and even depressing, to learn about yourself through unexpected quarters. To take a peek at yourself through someone... Esp when that someone is supposedly more evil than you are...

The shaking of foundations, that happens during this discovery, can be very depressing!

I spoke with Majid, an inmate of the Danville prison, a student of EJP, a man who made an impression on me the first time I heard and spoke to him. I was going around striking conversations with the students asking them what they were up to. I had occasions to synch up with my regular friends - Malik, Jojo, Bartosz and others. Majid, I hadn't spoken to much, since the EJP Open House.

He was, at that time, typing up his chronology of incarceration. My first impression of it was that it was going to be his resume when he was released. He had an earnest list of all the things that he learned, worked on, built while he was imprisoned. It was an impressive list. That list consisted of those things that could match or better the skills of an Engineer like me. Suddenly, all the impressed faces, when I would mention that I am a Computer/Software Engineer, seemed like taunts. Electrical wiring, plumbing, accountancy, sociology etc were boast-worthy indeed!

I asked him why he wouldn't prepare a resume instead. Or make the chronology of incarceration read from the latest event first. He said the purpose of the two things were different and that he already had prepared his resume. I was hoping he would get a steady income job once he was released. (It is only recently that I understood the social stigma about prisoners and their families. Having interacted with both inmates and their families, this time as a volunteer, not as a documentary-viewer or movie-watcher, I saw the other side of things. Placing myself in their shoes is so hard that I don't attempt to do that much these days.) His getting a job where his employer trusts him is as probable as the US governments employing terrorist organizations in defense organizations. Only this is much more brushed under the carpet and made to look like there is no discrimination.

He said that every employer will ask him tons of questions about his crime, the nature of it, the reason, the graveness, etc. "They will not care to ask even one question on what I did and learned all these years, and instead focus on that one incident!" I had a lump in my throat. I wanted to point out that there was nothing wrong in the employer wanting to know about the crime. After all, he did commit it and he can't run away from it. I didn't need to. He himself pointed out that he was not denying the crime but instead of looking to generalize his whole life based on one incident he should be viewed as another individual who made a mistake and is repenting so much that he not only is mellow and not committing more crimes but also has done useful things with and in his life. He has made use of every little chance he got to improve himself.

He told me that he was appealing for parole. He was due for release in 1982 but learned right around his release that the law was amended and instead of 63% paroles there would only be 2%. My heart sank when I thought how I'd have felt. Just 2 months before I was to be released, happily dreaming about my reunion with my family and SLAP! No release for another 20 years!

 He was in the prison for a homicide. Murder of 2 people...

"What do they (Jury/General public/Prospective employers) get by mentioning that one incident over and over again. It is not like I enjoyed it. It was an accident. I didn't run away from it but I have shown every sign of remorse by putting my life to good use. Here are the reports." Saying so he drew out a psychologist's report. He had a file of all documents that he could put together to appeal for a parole sooner than later.

I read through the summary of the crime glancing at him through the corner of my eye in between. I half wanted to picture how he may have been on that dreadful night of the murders. It was hard for me to imagine a fierce and gruesome expression on this man at all! Let alone on that night! I felt like a special friend at that moment. (We are told not to  talk about their crimes. Understandably they don't want to relive those horrifying events that brought them there and many more sad stories revolving around their families.) And then for Majid to show me his whole report... made me feel like that special friend who has been confided to. It made me respect him. When you look back at the times when it was difficult for you to confess your mistakes/shortcomings this candid conversation with Majid only made him admirable! How many of us have the guts to admit the flaws in us? How many of us can go to our loved ones now and tell them the actual truth?

Here was a man showing remorse. He didn't intend to kill those 2 people. All the same he doesn't deny that that doesn't make him a murderer deserving punishment. He only urges us all to see and acknowledge that he is a human being who earnestly tries every moment to keep improving. I looked at his resume again. I recollected his discussion on Civil Rights in the first meeting that I mentioned. I gasped!

Suddenly I realized that I was in the presence of a man far greater than I am. Have you ever felt a sinking feeling when you realize that what you believed about yourself was not true? To the society I am supposed to be the better individual right? He is supposed to be the evil of the society right? And yet when I saw what he made of the little that life offered him, I couldn't look at myself with the same pride any more.

Thank you, Majid, for showing me who the greater man was. You are a prisoner. Yet you dwarfed me hands down!

Love in Ethiopia and its 'pullatlu'

I was excited about the new cuisine. So when Vinay suggested that we go to an Ethiopian place for his Birthday dinner I could barely hold myself from tearing my seat belts and jumping onto the Interstate and spreading my joy to the others. (I heard of the suggestion when I was still driving on I-94)

Ras Daschen was where we went. It is on 6846 N Broadway Av in Chicago. I reached there about 20 min earlier than the others. That gave me a chance to listen to some really fascinating and rejuvenating music by a live band.

I was engrossed in the music when I had a lady (waitress/manager) walk up to me and ask me if I wanted to sit down while I was waiting for my friends. And that is when I noticed another beautiful aspect of the restaurant (music being the first). That lady was beautiful and the first thing I thought to myself was that she was a direct descendent of Cleopatra. And then it didn't surprise me that Caesar had his second family there. If I am presented with a chance, I will have 100 families in Egypt, Ethiopia, Morocco etc. Her curly hair, typical of Africans, were bewitching. And her eyes... They were magic! Black magic! Only in this case the victim would love being one! And when the other waitress came up to me and inquired how I was and spoke a few things I was floored. I rued not being able to speak Ethiopian just to impress her. I was surprised that she even chuckled at some silly jokes that one attempts during pleasantries. And when that happened the music in the background played a wonderful catalyst to her movements. The beats on the African drums were so well timed that every beat met with her sashay as though they were trained in the military.

I had a good mind of begging her to break the step a bit, or else my heart would collapse from the hard pounding! My 20 min felt like 2 min when my friends arrived and I was hoping to be served by this soft killer. We weren't but the one who served us was charming too. A good 15 min into researching the menu and what each thing could mean, we were coming up with some suggestions for orders. We all sipped on tasteful, delectable, lip smacking Ethiopian beer, (selected by Venkat and me) first. Pavan seemed to start liking beer which was, to me, as pleasing as the sight of a baby's first steps to its mother.

Our orders consisted of some meat portions which Pavan and I didn't eat of course. We ordered vegetarian delicacies, the best of which, I thought, was Shirro! Injeras, the base item like Indian roti or rice, were strikingly similar in taste and appearance to an Andhra Pradesh delicacy (Pulla atlu/ Pullatlu - meaning sour crepes). Although I probably never had authentic pulla attu (singular for pulla atlu) Pavan's agreement to my claim gave me the confidence to put it in writing.

Once all the food arrived, we all were merry and gorging on the salivary-gland-tingling food! I let me eyes steal away to the next table where the swaying sashaying waitress was serving. "Those lucky ^&$((&*#", I thought! Our table was almost at the other end of the restaurant so that we couldn't have heard so much as an elephant trumpet, let alone a light strum of the live band's guitar. We asked that some music be played for us and they obliged. Pavan, again, seemed to be really fascinated by the music as were others. So I took my chance and gestured to that pretty woman. She came beaming all over. Was I stupid enough to just ask her to change the music to something that was played 5 min back? No!I was clever enough to use that chance to ask her questions about the music and get prolong her presence at our table. I was in a daze. It was either my heart or my words or just my imagination, but surely one of these was floating about in air like a happy feather. God! Why wasn't I an Ethiopian?

By the end of our meal we had plenty of food and music. Personally I could have done with more conversation with the above mentioned descendant of Helen of Troy and Cleopatra! Sadly I had to leave quickly lest my waiting friends curse me. Vinay would already be telling his sister - Deepti - (who would have probably asked her brother, "Why on Earth is he taking so long to come out?") that I was doing some gimmicks and chatting someone up. I had an occasion to chat with the owners of the restaurant and I paid my compliment to the very well presented restaurant, food and music.

Secretly I was also complimenting the other beautiful thing. I also told them how the injeras was very similar to pulla atlu and was hoping they'd tell me that Ethiopians and South Indians (Andhra Pradesh people particularly) were of one blood. In which case I was already making plans of calling up my parents with a view to suggest an alliance!

On my way out I showered praises to the musicians who were happy to point me to the website I mentioned above. My opinions are not biased because of the beautiful waitress but I would recommend Ras Daschen to everyone who love the delicious cuisine, rejuvenating music and the beautiful things in life. (On a similar note, I also understand that I could believe the stock analysts who write a disclaimer saying that they do not hold any stocks of the analyzed company.) I am certainly going there on my next trip to Chicago.

And if you go there you'll love it anyway, but I'd recommend you to go with your chums like I did. It would only make for one of the best memories you've had in life.

Myth Ya Right! Awards

Thank you all for the encouragement of our efforts to put up what was Mithya's biggest production so far!

Personally I feel a big void in life because there is nothing to do. (Of course there is work, there are chores, activities here and there, but NO Practice! No time to while away anymore!) It is upsetting! For about 40 days or more the Mithya group has been involved in coming together and put up a play as serious, as intense and as big as this one. Is there any wonder, then, that there should be many memories attached to this play?

Now, I may write a mushy narrative of experiences during the play in future but for now, here is my tribute to all those involved in the play. I'll call them Myth Ya Right! Awards - more for the contortion of the original word than for lack of better names like Awards... (Only some find a mention but that is only because of my frequent interaction with them.)

The award for best:

Lighting: Saptarshi Bandyopadhyay - Not as much for stage lights and related labor as for displaying a kid-like glint in his eyes when he found a trolley on which he could stand and move about. Together with Sonal Mithal he successfully blared strong lights into everyone's eyes. No surprise then that he'd done something to cause the audiences to have tears in their eyes. At the sets he'd often climb up the ladder at the drop of a hat to stand right next to intense lights. He'd then pick a person to talk to, call him/her, the person would look up, and... well... profanity would follow!
His dedication to serious work would come to the fore when someone would mention food! From that mention to the time food was with him, he'd be serious about work. Then he'd get back to his buffoonery, often sounding like Sourav Ganguly!


Music: Ganesan, Nachiket and Usman - for successfully preparing actors and cue masters for SNAFUs or bloopers on stage. It was only one day before the actual play that they realized they weren't composing for a spoof. Until then they'd take turns to deliberately mistime the sound cues. It wasn't until the last show that everyone realized how much that helped the actors develop a knack for maintaining calm in the event of an actual F&&& up! Must be geniuses! About the music pieces, Usman was stunned to learn that he wasn't composing for Coke Studio or Atif Aslam's latest album!

Cue Manager (sound and light box): Sonal Mithal - After auditioning people for that role she only thought it morally improper to take up the lead role. So she decided to be the production manager. (Besides no one had the patience to appease Mithya's president should she fuss and cry over something!) One of the key hands behind making the Uncle look shabby, she'd not suggest a rockstar kind of costumes for the uncle! If the music and light folks were not bungling, it was Sonal who'd deliberately mislead Jay and others. That explains the nothing that was done on the first day the theater was handed to Mithya! Her fascination for fancy equipment overcame her and she used that whole day to play her version of PS3! Together with Saptarshi she'd create the occasional halos around actors under the pretext of faulty equipment!

Cue Master: Jay Chheda - For bungling Uncle Vinay's cues until even the final dress rehearsal. Sources say that he did that deliberately to have my on-stage presence to as minimum a time as possible! Sources also say that the director suggested this. After the award, I re-christen him to "Q (Kyu)Master?" He also gets the award for best backstage management because he had a very Old Parsi Pappa look a la Munnabhai MBBS! Some actors claim to have heard him say to himself between cues "Rani to pappani!" An actor complained in private that Jay's hastening between scenes nearly caused a dressing blooper that'd have caused nightmares to the on-lookers. Esp Mala Kathhhri!Also nominated and nearly won the award for Mr Consistent performer for having mimed Paperwallahs gay actions on all 3 shows from behind the stage! He only lost the award because he lost control of the backstage crew every time he did that. (Hard to get people to work when they're rolling on their stomachs!)

Make-up artist/Shadow actress: Sarah Brown - for working hard on make-up and doubling up as backstage crew as well as shadow of Mala! Her skills were more in the way she disguised her nervousness to show Mala's shyness/discomfort and reluctance at the psychiatrist's office! Rumors have it that she was the brain behind what is accepted as the Asst Director's master stroke of tiring/stressing the actors! She had minimum work to do then, but maximum credit for the make-up. Her item dances during practices earned her the sobriquet of "Gulaabon". Her ability to learn fast was demonstrated through her quick usages of un-parliamentary words in Hindi! Gulaabon delicately lent herself to the production work too. Or so she made people believe! No one realized her scheme of pointing to her shadow appearance as a reason for not doing much work. An actor under conditions of anonymity confessed that Gulaabon would just sit in the blue light backstage. He shudders at the thought of being revealed to her, lest he gets to hear her full range vocabulary in Hindi!

Publicity: Namita Narain and Ankit Chandra - Former (Namita) for bullying the actors into submission during interviews. But just when the actors realized they were being bullied, she'd sugar coat them with compliments and assurances to be natural on the cam. Flatter them with "You guys are amazing! I was always a tree in plays!" Word has it that she had to work on her bullying skills when despite all her efforts, there was a great turn-out for all 3 shows. We had to do something about the extra people that wanted to be let in... Her bullying worked wonders to hush up one actor who'd refuse to give up on his gimmicks! Always the one to add fire to fuel, she'd assure (false assurance) "setting up" between 2 people any time!

The latter (Ankit) more for publicizing his singing than directing all traffic to the latest play in the blog site until just the day before the 1st show. His altruism and efforts behind the stage were manifest in how he'd lend himself to the Asst Director as a favorite punch bag! His best contribution to publicity was to get his girlfriend to fly in from Pittsburgh. At the least that worked... His best production work was in getting food and thereby keeping perpetually hungry beings like Saptarshi interested in the play!

Director: Radha Venkatagiri - For being the Sonia Gandhi for her puppet (Sibin Mohan)! Her charm worked its way to new comers, one of whom would occasionally claim Radha to be his fiance instead of Radhika!
Also gets the award for assisting with the make-up (read: scrubbing faces and eyelids to redness/soreness). The important inspiration from her for everyone came when shed narrate fictitious tales of how she'd not get high at all and that she'd drink 10 shots and sue the liquor maker for making flavored water!

Assistant Director: Sibin Mohan - for his masterpiece when he came up with the idea to make the whole thing look natural. He is a Neo-director trying to make his mark but boy! His ploy to tire the headlights out of 2 actors such that they actually appear and act old (also tired) seemed to work wonders. Friends of the 2 actors who sat in the audience couldn't recognize them even days after the last show!
The stress was working on Mala Cuttery too except that Sibin, smartly, would pat her shoulder assuring that she was the best actress he ever worked with! It didn't work on Deepak because his mind was always on Hookah, Shayari and Liquor, not on the play! His best contribution was during those days that he wasn't in town for the practices!
He reportedly went on record saying that this was going to be his last play as a director. Pity the newcomers took that as a carrot tied to a stick. If only they'd known that that was what he mentioned last time too. The straight face that he puts it with often made onlookers think that he was Mithya's best actor so far!

Versatile actor: Mohin Khushani - for his versatile roles. His Looney Tunes-esque portrayal of the paperwallah, Sarkar-esque portrayal of the Barista and and Drunken-man-who-ain't-knows-the-difference-between-beer-and-wine portrayal of the Waiter wasn't what earned him the award. It was not even for his butt-thrusting a la Saurav Ganguly! His award was for wooing and accepting his co-star (a change from his days when he'd shudder at the thought of being seen with girls), for pretending to study for a fictitious exam when help was needed backstage and for his publicity interview. In fact the meaty part of his role was when he successfully held his chuckle and tried to seriously say that the person playing the Uncle was his favorite actor. To this day no one bought that, but hey he convinced himself! That is quality acting...

Junior artist/ Backstage intern: Dhruv Mehta - After his raunchy back massaging dance he'd slip into the production crew's dress code with more fuss than even Charlie Sheen could create! Dopey dance with wannabe accent seems to be the thing with Junior artists. They also refuse to share a dressing mirror/chair. He started the Junior Artists' rebellion in the dressing room but quietly led it from behind the Doofus-faced Khushani! Khushani would bark vehemently about how difficult it was to sit on a fellow Junior artist's lap during make-up etc. He'd create a ruckus in the dressing room, and when outside it, he'd look to show his non-existent cricketing prowess! Renuka, the jewelry designer and Nachiket's wife, held more sharp catches than Dhruv and Khushani put together!

Mr Nice guy/ soft spoken actor award: Aviral Jain - Coming from the village of La Mart-in-here he was always raised to leave enough room for the audience interpret the play in their own way! Very good practice except when it comes to saying one's dialogues so softly that the audience cannot hear anything, thereby leaving no choice but to imagine/extrapolate those lines!
His only line in the play (he used often) that made sense and men could readily associate with and feel ever so emotional about was "What do you mean? This just doesn't make sense!" (said with a gawky expression...)
The nice guy bit is for promising intoxicants to the lead actresses but never doing it. Chivalry indeed! Sources suspect the low-voice-syndrome in the play was because of repeated stress of the throat (read gasp+gulp) every time he saw Strawberries & Cream in action (read Girl-on-girl)!
He definitely helped keep everyone's moral high by plugging in earplugs and listening to random stuff instead of reciting Shayaris or narrating stories from Luck-No or La Marts! (In which case it gave Sonal - Aviral's best audience - an excuse to not work despite her not needing one.)

Actress/Glamdoll: Nisha Somnath - Every actor/actress in a given famous movie has a famous thing noted in it. Dharmendra for his "Yamla Pagla" dance and "Basanti in kutton ke saamne..." Amitabh for "Mera baap chor hai" Raj Kapoor for his right palm to the audience, light nod and Bambi eyes saying something like "Ok ji", Al Pacino's dance in "Scent of a woman", Yana Gupta's "Babuji" song.
Our Nisha has done it all. She oozed oomph through her high heels. That was the single major factor for her glamdoll tag. Her gait changed greatly with her skimpy and tight outfits, but not more than with the heels. A candid man in the audience wrote in his feedback, "Dear Mithya, all was ok! I loved everything about the play! But must you really have a horse to transport crew and actors from one side of the stage to the other?"
Her method acting must be lauded. She deliberately estranges her real life chemistry with her onstage mother and uncle so as to give her best performance. So what if despite that she couldn't act.
Her most noted lines/words in the play - "Eh! Did my scene with Spurr-tee come out well? I think it fell flat!"
"But how am I acting?" "Ehh I am not doing it well. Maybe you should find a better actress!" (Sibin's integrity was put to maximum test every time Nisha asked him for feedback on her acting. Best Director indeed!)
Words that really moved/reduced the co-actors to tears, "Deii! You are Deid! There is no Llleww for me! Lizzen!" (for Die! You are dead! There is no love for me! Listen!) (from sitting on chair to ROTFL, i.e.)

Upcoming star/Stacey's mom: Spurti Akki - for integrating her on-stage character into real life behavior. Every time a co-actor would ask her for coffee she'd readily peruse her lines from the play, "Huh? (and look lost)" Her peak acting was when she'd be upset over not being allowed to go to her "lab". (At the rate at which she was claiming things about her lab and/or work she should got either a Nobel Prize or an Oscar!)
Her portrayal of Mala's mother beat "Stacey's mom" by miles! People went gaga over her - not as much for her graceful looking saree as much for her impressions of old actresses in old songs.
Nisha's lines may or may not make her famous, but this starlet's lines "It is going to rain ALL NIGHT!" said no less than a million times by now will occupy the Mithya billboards for eons to come! In a given play her frustration (at the weather forecast not being heeded to) building up each time she said the line was impressive and definitely what made audiences go back home with a moral of the story! Last heard from sources, she was considering a career switch. She wants to replace Ravi Shastri as a cliche generator! (Both lines from the play and outside of it!)
She's taken to stardom like a Royal pig takes to a dirty sty! Last seen on the streets she was throwing tantrums about a spoon not being at the precise temperature in a restaurant and that it was hard for her to maintain her schedules with so many people interrupting her for autographs!

Best actress overall: Who said you needed to be on stage or in the whole movie to act? Anthony Hopkins won Oscar for a short duration in the film! Radhika is our such example. She went a step ahead. As an actor that never appeared, she mixed her emotions in an inimitable manner - romance, anger, catwalk, understanding and sharing & caring nature, etc!

Special thanks: Mehul Thakkar - for making his involvement with this play a minimum. With the feedback from the play and with more ideas, he is sure he can do better at that!

A letter to Maheen Sadiq

Dear Maheen,

Like every touching article naturally evokes reactions, most of which manifest as comments, you could take this as my elaborate reaction.

You almost hit the nail on the head when you said, "Cricket speaks to our nation in a way our government never has." I say "almost" because east of your border, it turns out to be true for us too! We rejoice when our team wins - like we did on March 30th when we beat your team. We crash in despair when we lose out - much like you did especially in 2007 World Cup. We admire our stars but we admire them more when they unite as a team to play.

Cricket as a medium to communicate with you seems the easiest. What an irony that it takes a game introduced by the very nation that divided us and filled us with hatred for each other, to break the ice, to understand each other, to embrace each other and to respect each other!

Take for instance the Semifinal game after which your beloved captain apologized to the nation. As much as we were proud of our team and ignored the opposition here on this side of the television... As much as you all were sour about losing to our team in the semifinal... All was gone when we saw Afridi smiling and genuinely congratulating each and every player of our team! Though we were celebrating and didn't have time to voice the sympathy and respect, I am sure every sane and mature person subconsciously acknowledged it. All ice was instantly broken!

So much so that I'd like to give you another point in support of that theory. At least personally at knockout stages whenever we defeated another team I would for a brief moment feel sad for the opposition. This happened in 2003 World Cup when we thrashed all teams except Australia. This time, not for a moment I felt any sympathy for the Australian team! I felt sadistically happy! But every moment in my celebration after the Semifinal win I subconsciously stood up and took my hats off to Afridi and the whole team.

Only someone who is dishonest or "extremely diplomatic" would say that Pakistan deserved to win this World Cup. I am being truthful - Pakistan didn't have a team to win this World Cup and India for once were favorites. Being an Indian my blood was boiling seeing Misbah bat the way he did. I was shocked that they spilled 4 chances at getting Sachin out. There were jokes doing rounds suggesting that maybe Afridi actually meant "We'll let Sachin score his 100th 100!"


Your team did well to reach this stage. Your team did even better to conduct themselves in the manner in which they did.

As a player - Afridi was one of my most hated. He was never a responsible player. How he got out in the semifinal and T-20 2007 final are but 2 examples out of the many there are. The comparisons with Sehwag were even more irritating and completely unjustified. His demeanor often made me think he is an arrogant brat. Maybe he was and maybe he changed. And the semifinal did just make me stand back and take a look at this person as a person! Hang on! Here is someone who looks just like our players when they lose! Here is someone who knows people back home will be sour, hurt and dismayed - just like back here!

Now after I read your post to Mr Afridi, my heart was filled with warmth! Your words weren't jazzy but you did it with simple words. Just the way Afridi pleased us all with his simple smile. I didn't much like the comments about not liking the US because after having living here for a couple of years I realized that the average people here are like us too. We let politics and diplomacy dictate our judgments towards each other and we should slowly stop poisoning our minds this way. I am sure now you'll definitely understand what I meant.

We hated Pakistan and Pakistanis after 26/11 blasts. We hated Pakistan after every terror attack. And we could be justified in doing so. Our lives were lost. Then we hear of blasts in Lahore and we are perplexed. We realize that it is simply not all population of India against all population of Pakistan! Neither you folks love constant conflict nor us. Again I'll use cricket to explain this.

One thing that US can do that neither India nor Pakistan can do independently is "2nd level diplomacy". It is in the US that I took to playing cricket after 11 years. I cautiously joined a team with 9 or 10 of them Pakistanis. Every move of mine was measured and I'd looked and observed carefully every person. In a few days after I joined the team there were blasts in Lahore. My teammate was on phone talking to friends and relatives back in Pakistan. He was worried and almost in tears hearing the voices of his near and dear ones. I wasn't surprised but it was reinforcing something that was buried deep in subconscious. That we are the same. You do exactly the same thing that we do when we hear of mishaps back home. You care for nothing as much as peace and development back home, as we do. Love for cricket and movies, hatred for politicians, festivities, ceremonies, clothes, colors, "mitti ki khushbu", "mithhaiyaan"...

At this point nothing more needs to be said except this. Let us not depend on our politicians for progress. You and me - we can take small steps. Our baby steps multiplied by our sheer number can do a lot more than these politicians giant steps often backed by hidden motives! Let us start a new and grass-root level of diplomacy - "2nd level diplomacy" or "People diplomacy"!

Let us continue to bring about peace through our friends and acquaintances! We can definitely progress on this much better than if we were to depend on the Zardaris or Singhs or whoever next. On second thoughts, maybe our premiers should invite each other every time there is a cricket match at either side of the border. That way at least we get to explore our commonness and contemplate peace and unity!
Cheers.

Yours sincerely,
Varun

PS: I invite you to watch the next Ind-Pak match at my place :)

Why I can't be an atheist?

Why you?

Thank God it was me. Hopefully it ended with me. Don't want such a thing happening to even my enemy...

You don't have enemies!

In theory, son...

He scarred your face. He gave you pain. You can't even smile. The very attempt to smile and infuse energy in people causes you pain!!! Is that what your 'God' gave you for being a gem of his children

He protected me from worse!

What absurd logic is that? I refuse to take that.

You are too harsh on God.

You only help others. You go out of your way for others. You feed every poor person you meet. You feed every hungry person that walks in to your house. Many a soul are blessed to even have eaten your hand-cooked meals. You are stupid enough to be unconditionally affectionate, warm, welcoming and kind to others. You are especially kind to rejected, lesser children of 'God'! Why you?

Maybe my wrongs in previous lives...

What kind of 'God' is he if he can't dish out punishments as and when wrongs are done? Why should I believe in your 'God'? Why is he a 'God' if he can only punish you now for being flawless? Even in your thoughts I haven't seen you harm anyone. You made backstabbers feel ashamed of themselves by your warm treatment towards them... I am justified in being an atheist!

You have to be open enough to understand his ways, son! I am happy I am done away with this now, than later, at an older age, when I have reduced tolerance to pain!

How can you be so positive amidst so much pain and agony? Well, maybe I should believe in God. I should believe in you... I should, because you do exist!

(GET WELL SOON MOM!)

Salute to you, Mr Banker!

I just saw a 12 min video of your ideas. I admire you more than any big corporate man. Surely you are 10 levels above a fellow who brought franchising in India's favorite sport. Certainly I value you more than some lone tennis star, who after making it to some Grand Slams, decided it was not for her, and instead chose to marry some fellow and settle outside the country.
I value you more than any politician (sadly we don't have leaders in our nation these days). You would be insulted if comparisons were even made to entertainers who are called 'actors' and showered upon with awards. More truly, it is just a distribution of awards, as one does of sweets on Independence Day.
Time and again, when hope seems to be lost in despair, some story like yours comes up. At this rate, Mr Banker, I have a lot to do by the time I retire and beyond.
Kudos! Hats Off! Take a Bow! You put people like me with "Global Education and Exposure" to shame, yet inspire them to take up constructive activities, first at home, then everywhere. Your words restore the faith that there are Angels on Earth after Mother Teresa left our company.
Mr Banker, my countrymen, esp those from the countryside have tremendous potential and burning ambition. Continue to fuel them, till someone like yours truly and his friends get there too!

Watch this video!
Banking on change

PS: I am a firm believer that everyone has a place in this world. So I have nothing against above mentioned people. It is just that I go out of my way to salute these true heroes who get lost in those that I feel are of no significance.

Strength of a woman!

December 24th 2009. If you look at the date, it is one day before Christmas.

That day, however, I realized that I could hardly fathom the depth of a woman's heart! For all the training that my prospective wife should be proud of my mother for, I just didn't understand it.

So here, I land at Bengaluru International Airport, not without the frustration and fuss of the bribe seeking officials. I loathed every moment of going back to India. My friends who came to pick me up, were annoyed that I tried to run away from the airport premises, not even acknowledging their presence. My justification was that I wanted to escape the irritating government officials.

My friends - Viraj, Vinod and Shreyoshee - relish my mom's cooking. Who Doesn't? I'll pay a 1000$ to anyone who finds a flaw in my mom's cooking. But then, that's not the deal here. The deal is in how this woman casts a spell on others while maintaining an impression of possessing supernatural powers.

Here is her Modus Operandi:
1 - Smile.
2 - Make people comfortable.
3 - Cook amazing delicacies.
4 - Be optimistic.
5 - Help everyone.

I, someone who can speak in 5 or more languages, am trying to learn the secret behind having friends of any background, despite not knowing more than 1 language... Acquaintances who'd take an extra step to help her, just to see her smile stay on her face... I am not exaggerating when I say that 0 to 100, people of all ages speak to her. They feel comfortable talking to her. They want more of her time. So I analyzed her. That is so typically me... Observe, Analyze, think...

She is not a Psychiatry major. She is no Engineer. She doesn't have the B.Com certificate to prove that she is 'educated'! Does any of it matter? I observed - No!

Her secret behind endearing herself to everyone is a secret indeed! Here, I can challenge any psychiatrist an amount of 1000$ to gain an insight into her psyche.

Now a mere mortal like me goes back home after 18 months of living away from home. I was greeted with the same affection that my friends were greeted. Clearly I was offended. Being a single child, I was used to being the center of attention. So a "Hello!", upon my arrival, from my mom was offending to me... I expected more.

The whole day, my friends would not take my hint - a hint saying, "Guys, maybe now you should leave me alone at home. Maybe I could do with some sleep (Jet lag)!" I am proud to have such friends too! I'd give up a lot of things to have friends like these!

Finally towards evening, they decide to leave for their respective homes! Relieved, I decide to inspect my home for the various changes after my departure to Chicago. Nothing seemed to change as much as my mother's tolerance towards my absence. I was supposed to be her only child. So how was I to understand her "Hello!" when I appeared at the door?

I saw that the lunch served was not one of my favorites - Potato curry! I was dismayed. I was confident that my mother would cook my favorites right from day one.

With all the pent up feelings, mixed with home sickness, I was peeved! I went in to her room. She happened to enter the room at the same time. As was customary, I grabbed her face gently, hugged her, tapped her and asked, slightly annoyed, "Enti Amma! Nenu oste neeku aanandamuga ledaa?" (Aren't you happy that I have come?)

No sooner did I hug her, than I heard her sob! And she didn't stop until at least 5 min. I was stunned! Any lady crying over my shoulder was supposed to be comforted. That was how my mother raised me. So I looked around, stunned! Something wrong? I was supposed to be homesick! And my mother was a strong person - to an extent that everybody pours their sorrows into her! Seeing her sob relentlessly put me to shame. Indeed I didn't know to read the mind of a woman! This woman - a personification of strength, love, kindness, inspiration and amiability taught me yet again that '...still waters run deep.' Here I thought, I was homesick. But there, my mother suffered from son-stroke!

That is when I realized that the depth of a woman's heart is not fathomable. Woman's Day or not... Mother's Day or not... Here is my tribute to the Woman! If ever my wife loved me for the respect I have for women, she should thank her mother-in-law! Mom, here is another tribute to you! I Love You!

Nandan of our nation

About 7 to 8 years back it was Dr A P J Abdul Kalam that I wanted to be like. Now it surely has to Nandan Nilekani. There shouldn't be any comparison between the two but a news item I read today has cheered me. It has given me a reason to 'live'.

I was an ambitious man looking up to influential people, as a kid, only to degenerate into just another creature who resigns to the statement, "it is all very easy to say big things, but not easy to do them. We can't do anything in this messed up political garbage!" From someone who wanted to be an Aerospace Engineer I became just another Electronics Engineer.

This too had phases.

1- Ambitous Electronics Engineer who saw many opportunities to do big things.

2- "Ahhh! Economy! Let me get a job first."

Being in the USA at this time gives such less-than-normal attitude to most people. What really lifted my dying spirits with a breath of life is the post about Nandan Nilekani. My survival will develop into living for sure. Here is a man whose knowledge, work and attitude earned political respect from a government I lost hope on. Apart from Dr MS (Our Prime Minister) and former Finance Minister PC, I didn't see more avenues for development and positive strides. Railway Minister and his respect from IIMs drew attention and my awe.

Now with this induction of Nilekani, there is a new wave of hope. Indeed men with bright ideas will be appeciated. Today, it is at the highest level. I pray that tomorrow, the level of an organization where a person can get recognized moves down and so on. When this happens, India will be in another universe. India 2020 won't be far away! And it won't be only in patriotic songs that India sounds great in!

My upward looking eyes are a result of news items I read. To name them are:

A- India exports milk to New Zealand (Dr Kurien's dream comes true)!

B- Nilekani's appointment as the head of (National) Unique ID agency!

C- Mumbai's Worli-Bandra sea link's status and now Worli-Haji Ali's proposals!

D- Vishakhapatnam's development!

E- Andhra Pradesh's e-governance actually being real and not just dummy web pages doing nothing!

F- Dedicated Freight Corridor project (railways)! (More railway projects related news on this wordpress link)

Today I feel my satisfied best because I turned from an apathetic person towards goings-on-around-me to a delighted and proud man looking to do my bit.

For all fellow Indians, let's take a cue from this incident and let us do our bit soon! For a start, it'll be a great thing if everyone decides to hokd back the urge to throw trash on the roads or any place other than the garbage bin. If I were you, I'd keep the empty packet with me till I find a bin. It is not very difficult.

I wish to mention my friend who is already doing his bit while the rest of us friends are still trying to either find excuses like lack of time/energy or some such thing or are still planning for those days when 'we will do something'!

Meet Vinod. He is presently working with Aricent Technologies in Bengaluru. Always the one to dirty his hands, put in the effort, plan and execute things, he has started a Charitable trust with a group of like minded people. Their trust mostly funds poor children's education. Personally I am looking forward to be a part of their trust. I strongly recommend you (reader) to get in touch with him if you want to do your bit.

You could mail him at 4uvinod@gmail.com

Here are other friends who harbor such itch to do something - Viraj Patil, Arun V T and Harsh Mankad. There are other friends in my close circle whom I haven't mentioned because they may not take initiative, but I know they'll participate.

@Vinod - I see a lot of scope for us to dirty our hands now.

Viraj Pa'TI'l to Viraj Patil

The title of this post is, as I write, the google status message of my friend - Viraj Patil. For someone who knows that he is quitting TI (Texas Instruments) to join IIM-B (Indian Institute of Management - Bangalore), and only so much, it will seem like he is bragging his achievement, boasting, showing off or whatever.

Allow me to introduce my friend for 7 years while explaining that his status message doesn't mean to do any of the above mentioned things. A man of much fewer words than actions, he is continuing to set new high standards in our group of friends. 7 years back we all met each other in M S Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore. Through years we became fast friends and moved together as a group.

Viraj (Viru) always came across as a reticent, at times rude, fellow. This changed with the arrival of his 'steady-state' partner. He was someone who, we believed, would look in another direction if he accidentally even looked at a girl, as if saying, "Ohhh! Distraction!" As Vikram once put it, "Viru would go home and take a cold water bath if he sees a girl..." He was the butt of a lot of our jokes based on this idea. His frequent visits to the restroom (we're exaggerating here, of course) earned him a title "Attendance!"

He'd generally be in the top 5 scorers in the examinations in our class of about 70 and he'd come up to us all and exclaim "I got f***ked man!" when all he managed was mere honors (80% in VTU). If one pictured him and me standing next to each other, one wouldn't get a more academic contrast than that. The guy who almost failed in a course had no intention to apply for re-evaluation whereas the guy who missed securing 80%, instead securing 79.99% was feeling ashamed and wanted to apply for re-evaluation!

I would always believe that he was acting weird (We all believed so anyway and we still do believe that)! He'd fend off congratulatory messages by saying things like, "That was a fluke. Next time you see, I'll surely fail." And the story repeated all 8 semesters. It was just that we knew and got used to his quasi-modesty. This isn't to say he isn't modest, but when such things happened, people would get irritated.

The bottomline remained that with every semester he'd only get more determineed and focused. To complement those, he'd be methodical in his approach. There wouldn't be a single lecture he'd miss or a single notes' sheet he'd not have written down. Yet he found time to occasionally play with the rest of the group or roam places, go on trips or treks.

With time and with the reformation that the steady-state partner brought in him, he eased into a free and light-hearted man with tolerance to personal jokes or friendly banter. Academically, Viru, Vinod and myself took inspiration from our seniors at school (MSRIT) who had the urge and itch to do an extra bit. That found us participating (teaming up with Arun V.T. and Swetadrivasan) in the Honeywell - Freedom to Innovate - 2006 and ending up as the Top 5 team out of about 200 in India. Initially interested in the IIMs just as most others wanted to append an MBA to their BE to have that edge to their profile, he started developing a strong inclination towards technical qualifications (MS, MTech).

He had the audacity - if that word can be used - and the subconscious confidence in his abilities to believe that he deserved a better job than an average campus-placement job. He didn't take up the 1st few interviews/tests. He didn't take up the job he landed at CTS, instead choosing to apply online. His persistance rewarded him a job at TI as a consultant. Basis his performance, he was to be either confirmed or rejected there as a full-time employee. He would often worry. Any comfort given to him through allusions to his high pay would only evoke a reply, "It is not confirmed dude..." Need I say what finally happened in more explicit manner than just saying that he is quitting TI after 3 years of dedicated (may be overly dedicated) work? He ensured though, that he didn't miss many commitments - social, family etc.

What better event can happen to him than to get an admit at IIM-B? It only had to be this better (than the now saturating work at TI perhaps) an opportunity for him to decide to quit TI. As he is entering IIM-B, he still has not 'showed-off' in any status message that he is quitting for that reason. While each one of us in the group are trying our best to inspire each other and give each other an occasion and reason to be proud of ourselves, this surely counts as a pride-evoking achievement for us all.

On behalf of Madhur, Rahul, Shreyoshee, Shwetha, Swetadrivasan, Tejaswi, Vikram and Vinod I wish him good luck! I'll soon update this post with some pics of our group! Here is hoping that all of our dreams (including our million plans like restaurant, farming, suing and anti-suing agencies) are realized and one day we meet at the crossroads that we bade farewell to each other and join forces to inspire others and possibly generations to come!

Cheers!

Tribute to a great woman!

Everyone's mom is the best. Though mathematically it seems odd because according to mathematicians most populations of species have a distribution from worst to best. Moms however defy all laws. So let me establish that my mom is the best. Yes, your mom is the best too! Yeah his mom is the best and her mom is the best and everyone's moms is the best!

The lady that I am paying tribute to can be an inspiration to anyone. She is a personification of cheerfulness, grit, determination, duty-mindedness, humility, endearing, etc. (At this point I spent quite some time and realized that I was spending way too much time on something that has no limits and no justification despite the number and quality of words used.) The lady I am paying tribute to has no achievements, whatsoever, that the world recognizes. She doesn't even have her degree certificate (B.Com from Osmania University) to prove she is a graduate. But she has achieved a lot indeed. Read on...

Born as, Ramalakshmi Gidugu to Dr Narasimha Rao and Mrs Rajeshwari Gidugu in Nellore, she was the second child and eldest of the 5 daughters the couple had. She quickly became a favorite of one and all. She was plump and chubby to look and was very active and naughty. With every year, she was more of a tomboy. She'd beat up her elder brother's friends and bully them. She'd climb trees and steal mangoes and fruits. She'd make her own catapult and use it to pluck fruits. She'd leave home after an early breakfast, only to find herself relishing another breakfast at the neighbor's house. Then she'd leave, only to stuff more into her stomach at another neighbor's place. (It was usual for people to spot my mom on the road and be tempted to call the chubby looking girl and feed her more.) My mom wouldn't deny them that pleasure. She became the only person to have the privilege to give her piece of mind to the village head (called Munsab).

Life was all rosy for this happy-go-lucky girl who lived in the beautiful countryside of Andhra Pradesh. At school she'd dread Hindi classes and just pass the time by sitting in the back bench. By college time she retained most of her happy-go-lucky and carefree ways. She had friends around her who liked her company. She had a friend who wrote a poem on her. She was adored and admired by everyone. She never harmed anyone but was capable of seeing the possible harm that a person may do to her and was capable to fight ten words with just one effective word. She reserved her sharp tongue for those who'd, unaware of her capability, attack her verbally. It wasn't until a few months ago that I saw a picture of her college time and reformed my image of her. By the standard of those days, she was a beautiful lady. And I used to think she was plump and fairly okay to look at. This is despite the many times I saw an uncountable number of people not believing their ears when my mom would tell that she had a son as old as I am!

Let me jump to her married life.

Marrying a man who worked in a big metropolitan city - Mumbai - isn't easy. Living in Mumbai was impossible for most people. This lady didn't know Hindi - at least that would have enabled her to manage and survive daily life. Let us just say that apart from Telugu she couldn't speak another language. This was in 1983. When we left Mumbai to live in Bengaluru (2000) she had unbelievable lot of friends speaking different tongues. The amusing part was that two women speaking the same tongue trusted my mom more than the other woman. They all would come to my mom. I was amazed! It is hard to list down everything but I'll end this post here abruptly, only to continue in my future posts. Those posts will mention amusing anecdotes from her life in Mumbai.

To conclude this post, she is a magical lady, a Goddess, an inspiration to live and thrive. Mom, here's wishing you a Happy Birthday.