A walk in the rain

Mind was clouded;

frustration enshrouded!

Hoped for a clearer mind.

Brightness it should find!

Not happy, was I, with any work.

Backstabbers! Every corner they lurk.

"I have no achievement!"

To myself I lament.

No opportunity to prove myself.

No earnings to stock my shelf.

All, around me, in their strides, have spring.

Alas! I'm tied down; depression the string!

For others' sake, I go out of my way.

For their hassles, soul and spirit I lay!

To up my mood, no one cares!

A friendly time no one spares...

In mind, I want to get rid of darkness.

Outside, I don't mind the cloudy mess.

"Oh bring some peace! Bring some calm!"

I begged! Begged with outstretched palm.

On my way back home, raining it was!

My regular way would be by bus.

But today I chose to ease my pain.

So I walked. Like a kid I walked in rain!

*Dedicated to all those souls who are going through tough times! Hope that brought a smile...

Rasam powder's importance

What is the value of Rasam in Varun's life?

Zilch.

Ok, that's a very rude thing to say about Rasam because it is great to have it and some people love it. Most people live because of it. Every Tamilian survives on it. Teluguites have a bit of it on most days as appetizers and call it "Chaaru". Kannadigas and Malayalees have it too with their own variations. The rest of India would not much know the difference between a Sambaar and Rasam but do like it when they have it.

Rasam, with its ingredients, can not only be an appetizer but also give relief from cold and flu. "It makes you want to live another day..." says my dad, when he gives his pro-Rasam talk.

I never eat it with rice. For me it is a mere nutrition-less food. I'd rather have as much as my appetite normally permits than increase my appetite and find that Rasam anyway filled that newly increased appetite.

Let's refine the question a bit.

What's the value of Rasam in Varun's life in India? Zilch.

What's the value of Rasam in Varun's life in USA? Increasing...

Mr Innovator (one of my faces) made Rasam flavored Pasta. I'll call it "Rasamy Pasta". I'll take suggestions for a better name. I was tired of eating outside. I wanted to make something and realized that we were out of rice. "Ummmm!!! Varun, what do we do now?"

"Ummmm!!! How about making pasta?"

"Yeah! Will save money for tonight and I'll get to make it to suit my taste buds..."

So I religiously start cleaning 2 utensils, boil pasta and sautee vegetables. I'm not your emergency cook but a Chef-i-have-time-give-me-something-new-yet-tasty cook! I realized it and people did praise me for my food. The only flaw so far has been that potatoes in my dishes often aren't completely cooked. So let's say I am a Honest-chef-I-have-time!-Give-me-something-new-yet-tasty cook. I wanted my taste buds to get a tingle of red chilly powder. I have been having really bland food for long without whining.

Indians need spices and chilly powder in particular. More so, people from Andhra Pradesh. We are people who just make a pickle of everything. Most them vary in degrees of spice - (with '!' symbol to be read as the spice level)

Most spicy, !!!!! + !

Moster spicy, !!!!! + !!

Mostest Spicy and !!!!! + !!!

Call-the-fire-brigade spicy !!!!! + !!!!!

Now as I finish this post, I can't say anything more than, "Call me home, and let me dish out a Varun special, anytime when you're at leisure!"

For now, Chef Varun (CV) signs off, having satisfied his belly and taste buds.

I'm just wondering if it should have read: Honest-Chef-I-have-time!-Give-me-something-new-yet-tasty!-Remind-me-of-my-mom cook!

Play!!!

"Time to play gentlemen!" I didn't hear that actually but I finally played cricket. Raingod was merciful towards Raingod and others in the team. A long drive (3 hours) from Chicago to Springfield was made more sullen when we realized that the umpire decided to toss the coin without us because we were late. Our captain, Amer Khan, wasn't very happy because we had, as a visiting team, some grace time.

It didn't matter. After first two overs going very economical, our bowler Ali struck. It was a difficult catch because it was taken running backwards (a la Kapil Dev). That the ground was uneven and damp made this catch even more difficult. If I were the fielder I'd have dropped it or not reached it. As it is I was always a close in fielder, who'd do extremely well in ground fielding and inner circle catching. Never was an outfielder.

Soon it was 3 and then 5 wickets down. The batting team didn't seem to be getting anywhere. I was wondering if it indeed was possible to get a team out within 100 runs in a 40-over game. As it happened, we bowled a tight line and held our catches. Most of them were at 1st slip. 2 of them were by Moatsim Bajwa (Moshi bhai). He held one by his right hand - a quick reflex catch and the other was held low, just above the ground. He later completed a fine spell of bowling though he missed taking a hat-trick. Just for the hat-trick ball we all stood close by.

Moshi bhai looks like Waqar Younis. I said that to him. "Did anyone tell you look like Waqar?"

"Yeah some have..."

"Why don't you bowl like him too? (I was hinting at speed because he is a super bowler. Difficult to get away and has slow in-swing.)

He is a chirpy and a fun man. Just being around him gives an extremely comforting feeling.

So we got the team all down for 54 runs, the last wicket having fallen when they were attempting a second run of a brilliant fielder! (me) ;) I am really struggling with my right shoulder and I promised to take a doctor's appointment. My throws are just not as sharp and well-directed.

The batting order was decided. The openers were to play and complete the game for us. I was to go 5 down. As the batsmen were playing, I got restless. I needed to bat. I asked Moshi bhai if it would be doing too much to tolerate if I wanted to play in the nets for a bit. He said, "Suuuuuurre!" I am yet to see him discourage me for anything like this.

Kamran bowled gentle offspinners. I was lost for the 1st 4 balls. I started picking up. Ali, who looked sceptical of the idea of my going to bat in the nets, showed up and bowled a few at me. He gave me tips when I edged a few. It was nice. I was feeling very confident. Ali sledged me whenever I hit a confident stroke off him. It was fun, though he wasn't easy to handle in the nets too.

My confidence was a positive wave. I was being observed. I went back to join my team and asked Moshi bhai for feedback on my batting. "My feedback is that your batting in the nets made Amer decide that you'll go 1 wicket down if at all..."

"Thanks but I was seriously asking your feedback."

"Serious bhai! We were discussing when you were confidently playing your strokes. Launda confident lag raha hain. Isko bhejte hain!" (Guy is confident. Let's send him next.)

And so when the 1st wicket fell at 52, I had to be there to finish the game. I joined our wicket-keeper and opener, Vajid. Amer bhai asked me to be wary of the owler. He was supposed to be really deceptively good.

So I take guard, minus chest guard and thigh guard. That was supposed to worry me. I recently had injuries because of lack of protective gear. But the confidence I was in, I was looking to finish in the next few minutes.

1st ball!!! Here it was. Went forward to a left arm over, medium bowler. I got a genuine edge which was missed by the slip. I went through for the 1st run in my rekindled career. Vajid finished off the match with 2 singles (1 of the last ball and off the 1st ball of the next over). He felt bad for denying me the chance to hit the winning run. All is well. He more than made up by gifting me his chest guard.

An early finish saw us back home by 6pm. Looking forward to my next game on saturday (June 20th) at Washington Park, Chicago.

License to conquer

What is it about a Driving License that makes you feel strong; makes you feel confident?
Is it that you have been certified to drive alone? But why don't you feel the same about any other official document which gives you an identity. How about a college ID, even a reputed one, for that matter?
Perhaps the photo identity, age proof and address proof - all in one - give it the ultimate-document-to-posses status. Very bland? Not so convincing? What difference does having all these proofs in one or in 3 different documents make?
Perhaps it is license itself - license to drive - that gives one the confidence, pride and satisfaction. At subconscious level you know that you are free. Free to take on the world. Free to roam the world (or at least as far as the roads can take you). Free to feel free.
It tells you at the inner level that people have faith in you, your abilities and your reliability. It tells you (Funny that IT has to tell you):
1 - You're not suicidal.
2 - You're not a criminal or murderer who gleefully visualizes human bodies being trampled by car tires.
3 - You won't refer to your restlessness, frustrations or thoughts triggering these emotions.
4 - You're mature as your age suggests (Assuming mental age is at least close to the physical age).
4 - VERY IMPORTANTLY, even if the others in/on the vehicle sleep, you'll not prioritze your sleep over your driving!
So, in all, it is my pick as the sole document that can reform your attitude towards life. Something that even a passport can't do, to that extent!

Needle in a haystack

The following is an imaginary conversation between my friend and I...

"You seem so geed up.

You seem to be on top.

What's up? What's up?

Of joy, you're a dollop!"

"There is a joy in learning.

Ecstacy in meeting a loved one.

A pride in your earning.

Satisfaction in a great job done."

"What is this answer?

I asked a question.

Your answer filled with vigor,

has what relation?"

"A difficult needle I found,

in a dark, big haystack.

Thus, I feel joy all around.

Hope this find sits atop my prize rack."

"By golly! I get some idea.

I do see more clarity.

Tell me who! Santa Maria!!!

Do bring in some sanity!"

"Go back to my blog dated 31 May.

Of approval, I wish, I get a nod.

This find of mine gives a hope's ray.

The find being Worship, I am Raingod!"

The only reason I hate my name!

My name was carefully chosen by a man who puts detailed thought into everything. Everything! My father wanted to ensure that it was not a typical Andhra name. That his son shouldn't have a problem while filling the numerous application forms that one fills in a life time was a major factor in his choice. He wanted to name me a trendy and uncommon one by those days' standards. The limiting factor was also that no one should be able to shorten my name further. They could nickname me anything, but the name itself couldn't be shortened further. Shortening further shoudn't give any bonus to the one calling out the shortened name. All these factors culminated into my name being fixed as what it is.

People may argue that they could still shorten my name and make it "Varu" or "Var" or some such thing. But here is what I observed. The easiest for anyone to shout out or keep using frequently would be bisyllabic names (Two sounds. Most nicknames are of 2 syllables.). Names longer than those are shortened to 2 syllables for ease of use. Vikram (2.5 or 3 syllables) typically becomes Vikky. Tejaswi become Teju. Vinay could become Vinnu. Padmanabhan becomes Paddy and so on. There are some 2.5 or 3 syllable names which can't be shortened and be used easily. Say, shouting out "Varru" isn't so much of a bonus over "Varun". "Madhur" can't be shortened but in case it is shortened, "Madhu" is another valid Indian name. Also, calling out, "Mad" in a formal meeting sounds flippant.

So, Mr Ravi Kishore (my dad)! Well done. Hats off! However, there are occasions when I really hate my name, of which, I am otherwise very proud.

I remember, people used to appreciate my name in the context of monsoon rains which are crucial for Indian farmers and the economy. The name was fairly uncommon too. So I never had trouble with my name. It is also a part of the motto of Indian Navy.

I hated it most in Bengaluru. Bengaluru has the most fickle rains that a city could have. Given that it is not an island, or near a coast like say Mumbai, it is surprising where it gets rains from. It is not exaggerating to say that if the sun beats down for 4 days or say a week, the next day has to be rainy. So, when I would set out to go to college on a bright morning, it would not rain, unless I am not carrying my jacket. So let us say, it is that day when it could rain going by the rule I established above, it will rain positively if I am not carrying my jacket. If I do carry my jacket, however, it will not rain. I was stuck with this. It happened more than a dozen times. Riding a bike on a horribly wet day is an experience I will dedicate another article to. For now only those who have ever "been there done that" will know how it is a nightmare.

I think it is to do with my name because my friends didn't seem to have such a problem. Every such instance only cemented that rule for me. The last one really frustrated me. I drove my friends to a cricket match that I was playing. My roommate (Vinay) wanted to see a game in flesh, especially a game that I was playing. This excitement came to him when he saw the cricket kit that I bought. The others for some reason or the other wanted to watch it too. My main worry was, if after they came to see the match I only managed to score a duck or did badly in the game.

I didn't expect that there was something worse to fear. 10 minutes before our reaching the ground it started drizzling. 9 minutes before reaching it started lashing. And it continued to pour for at least half an hour. With every half a minute of rain, my belief that there would even be a single ball bowled in the game was buried deeper. So far every game possible got rained out. The one game that didn't get washed out was the one in which I was resting. My teammates (Most of them from Pakistan) were wondering how this year the weather seems such a spoil sport. I observed this till one day in a fit of frustration I cursed that it was my name perhaps. That I joined the league this year was enough for the God of Rain to start pouring his heart out was what I was coming to believe. In fact, this time, it is not just affecting me, but my team, and the whole league itself.

Now, with this knowledge, everytime there is a rain forecast or the match has just been called off, my senior team members teasingly ask me, "Aur kyaa chaahte ho bhaai mujhse?" (What more do want from me?) "Let us have a game, Raingod!" they say. Varun means "God of water" but then I don't think that makes a difference anyway. The sorry story continues every weekend. Every team member observed how the sun beats down brightly and how it is pleasant for the whole week just to spoil the weekend. It is as if the sun wants a break in the weekend too! I wonder why it isn't this way - the rain wanting an off on weekend! It is MY name, I guess! When I was in India, it was this way there. Now that I am in Chicago, it is this way here!

I have vowed to change my name and/or email ID (varun.raingod@gmail.com). Another thing I promised to do is to name my son "Ravi" not so much after my dad as because it means "Sun God". At least he'll get nice weather following him wherever he goes. I only hope after all this that the same rule applies to him (Name = weather).

This is the only time I hate my name; only reason I hate my name. Dad, couldn't you think of another name?

Viraj Pa'TI'l to Viraj Patil

The title of this post is, as I write, the google status message of my friend - Viraj Patil. For someone who knows that he is quitting TI (Texas Instruments) to join IIM-B (Indian Institute of Management - Bangalore), and only so much, it will seem like he is bragging his achievement, boasting, showing off or whatever.

Allow me to introduce my friend for 7 years while explaining that his status message doesn't mean to do any of the above mentioned things. A man of much fewer words than actions, he is continuing to set new high standards in our group of friends. 7 years back we all met each other in M S Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore. Through years we became fast friends and moved together as a group.

Viraj (Viru) always came across as a reticent, at times rude, fellow. This changed with the arrival of his 'steady-state' partner. He was someone who, we believed, would look in another direction if he accidentally even looked at a girl, as if saying, "Ohhh! Distraction!" As Vikram once put it, "Viru would go home and take a cold water bath if he sees a girl..." He was the butt of a lot of our jokes based on this idea. His frequent visits to the restroom (we're exaggerating here, of course) earned him a title "Attendance!"

He'd generally be in the top 5 scorers in the examinations in our class of about 70 and he'd come up to us all and exclaim "I got f***ked man!" when all he managed was mere honors (80% in VTU). If one pictured him and me standing next to each other, one wouldn't get a more academic contrast than that. The guy who almost failed in a course had no intention to apply for re-evaluation whereas the guy who missed securing 80%, instead securing 79.99% was feeling ashamed and wanted to apply for re-evaluation!

I would always believe that he was acting weird (We all believed so anyway and we still do believe that)! He'd fend off congratulatory messages by saying things like, "That was a fluke. Next time you see, I'll surely fail." And the story repeated all 8 semesters. It was just that we knew and got used to his quasi-modesty. This isn't to say he isn't modest, but when such things happened, people would get irritated.

The bottomline remained that with every semester he'd only get more determineed and focused. To complement those, he'd be methodical in his approach. There wouldn't be a single lecture he'd miss or a single notes' sheet he'd not have written down. Yet he found time to occasionally play with the rest of the group or roam places, go on trips or treks.

With time and with the reformation that the steady-state partner brought in him, he eased into a free and light-hearted man with tolerance to personal jokes or friendly banter. Academically, Viru, Vinod and myself took inspiration from our seniors at school (MSRIT) who had the urge and itch to do an extra bit. That found us participating (teaming up with Arun V.T. and Swetadrivasan) in the Honeywell - Freedom to Innovate - 2006 and ending up as the Top 5 team out of about 200 in India. Initially interested in the IIMs just as most others wanted to append an MBA to their BE to have that edge to their profile, he started developing a strong inclination towards technical qualifications (MS, MTech).

He had the audacity - if that word can be used - and the subconscious confidence in his abilities to believe that he deserved a better job than an average campus-placement job. He didn't take up the 1st few interviews/tests. He didn't take up the job he landed at CTS, instead choosing to apply online. His persistance rewarded him a job at TI as a consultant. Basis his performance, he was to be either confirmed or rejected there as a full-time employee. He would often worry. Any comfort given to him through allusions to his high pay would only evoke a reply, "It is not confirmed dude..." Need I say what finally happened in more explicit manner than just saying that he is quitting TI after 3 years of dedicated (may be overly dedicated) work? He ensured though, that he didn't miss many commitments - social, family etc.

What better event can happen to him than to get an admit at IIM-B? It only had to be this better (than the now saturating work at TI perhaps) an opportunity for him to decide to quit TI. As he is entering IIM-B, he still has not 'showed-off' in any status message that he is quitting for that reason. While each one of us in the group are trying our best to inspire each other and give each other an occasion and reason to be proud of ourselves, this surely counts as a pride-evoking achievement for us all.

On behalf of Madhur, Rahul, Shreyoshee, Shwetha, Swetadrivasan, Tejaswi, Vikram and Vinod I wish him good luck! I'll soon update this post with some pics of our group! Here is hoping that all of our dreams (including our million plans like restaurant, farming, suing and anti-suing agencies) are realized and one day we meet at the crossroads that we bade farewell to each other and join forces to inspire others and possibly generations to come!

Cheers!