Mind was clouded;
frustration enshrouded!
Hoped for a clearer mind.
Brightness it should find!
Not happy, was I, with any work.
Backstabbers! Every corner they lurk.
"I have no achievement!"
To myself I lament.
No opportunity to prove myself.
No earnings to stock my shelf.
All, around me, in their strides, have spring.
Alas! I'm tied down; depression the string!
For others' sake, I go out of my way.
For their hassles, soul and spirit I lay!
To up my mood, no one cares!
A friendly time no one spares...
In mind, I want to get rid of darkness.
Outside, I don't mind the cloudy mess.
"Oh bring some peace! Bring some calm!"
I begged! Begged with outstretched palm.
On my way back home, raining it was!
My regular way would be by bus.
But today I chose to ease my pain.
So I walked. Like a kid I walked in rain!
*Dedicated to all those souls who are going through tough times! Hope that brought a smile...
22 comments:
Perfect !! Good poetry !! And the sense of rhyming... Luvd it.... The jist of it too is apt :) Kudos Raingod!! Way to go!!! :)
good one mams !!! also congrats ..your team is in finals .....
Too good for words! One of the best in poetry I've read so far. Awesome dude. Simply superb. But, I'm wondering if there's a specific reason to the content and I'm hoping not.
Good one!! Liked the mid stanzas..
Thanks a lot. I didn't quite expect to get this sort of response. I'm honored! :)
Naaaice ;)
p.s: why the captcha?
u really write from within, it echos everyone's feeling of uncertainty and inadequacy from time to time, soulful to say the least
i loved the rhyming....and d artistry in the poetry...u just poured your emotions into it...
nice :)
Thanks Ramya, Saahithi, Vaidehi and Anonymous!
Too Good ..Nice poem
Good composition, every word describes the current state of my mind. Kudos !! nd thank u
Hey...good stuff man...pretty intense as well...loved it...
Thank you Jai. Keep visiting.
Hemantha - While I am happy that you liked my poem and how it summarized your feelings at this moment, I am sad to know you are actually sort of depressed now! Yaake maga?
Adi - Intense is a new adjective. I liked it. Thank you!
Very evocative. And also a song that reached me at the right time. Good work, Last Word of Indian Navy ;)
Thank you!!..expresses my current state of mind perfectly!
-swati
Confused Martian - I thank you for the feedback. Glad that my song could reach you at all. The timing is a bonus :)
Anonymous Swati - Again, glad you could associate with it!
Its funny how these lines immediately took me back to the time when I read this one by Keats :
WHEN by my solitary hearth I sit,
And hateful thoughts enwrap my soul in gloom;
When no fair dreams before my "mind's eye" flit,
And the bare heath of life presents no bloom;
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!
Whene'er I wander, at the fall of night,
Where woven boughs shut out the moon's bright ray,
Should sad Despondency my musings fright,
And frown, to drive fair Cheerfulness away,
Peep with the moonbeams through the leafy roof,
And keep that fiend Despondence far aloof!
Should Disappointment, parent of Despair,
Strive for her son to seize my careless heart;
When, like a cloud, he sits upon the air,
Preparing on his spell-bound prey to dart:
Chase him away, sweet Hope, with visage bright,
And fright him as the morning frightens night!
Whene'er the fate of those I hold most dear
Tells to my fearful breast a tale of sorrow,
O bright-eyed Hope, my morbidfancy cheer;
Let me awhile thy sweetest comforts borrow:
Thy heaven-born radiance around me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!
Should e'er unhappy love my bosom pain,
From cruel parents, or relentless fair;
O let me think it is not quite in vain
To sigh out sonnets to the midnight air!
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!
In the long vista of the years to roll,
Let me not see our country's honour fade:
O let me see our land retain her soul,
Her pride, her freedom; and not freedom's shade.
From thy bright eyes unusual brightness shed---
Beneath thy pinions canopy my head!
Let me not see the patriot's high bequest,
Great Liberty! how great in plain attire!
With the base purple of a court oppress'd,
Bowing her head, and ready to expire:
But let me see thee stoop from heaven on wings
That fill the skies with silver glitterings!
And as, in sparkling majesty, a star
Gilds the bright summit of some gloomy cloud;
Brightening the half veil'd face of heaven afar:
So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud,
Sweet Hope, celestial influence round me shed,
Waving thy silver pinions o'er my head!
John Keats
Hi Sravya, I wonder why it should be funny that it took you back to that poem ;) but then... thank you for the comment anyway!
I love the rain on days of sadness because to me, it's like the heavens are washing my pains aways...! So i either cry cos my tears r hidden by raindrops, or i just dance under the rain, my pain away..!
Victoria - I rue that I almost never find time to go out and get wet in the rain. As a kid, growing up in Bombay, I'd always join my friends for a drenching in the first rains. Sigh!
Hey even as adults we shouldn't forget the joy we had from such little moments. In d summer wen it's raining, pretend u forgot ur umbrella and just walk, sing, dance and enjoy the rain. I love to dance so i just dance (a lil) and smile along the way under the rain
Post a Comment