Perfectly Ironical People

Any fan of Sherlock Holmes would know of his ability to deduce the train of thoughts by mere observation of a person's face. He'd also need to know the person a good deal, of course, to be able to know how a person would react to something (a word, a picture or something). I wish I had Holmes to sit by me to playback my train of thoughts so that I could compile this post well.
Anyway, it was about the inflation - esp in India - that led me to think and come up with this post that I was supposed to have written long back (At least a month back). What with "3 Idiots" providing some entertainment (but more than that, making million idiots of the watchers) - the 'message' it intended to portray about excellence and education as opposed to success and qualification - it led me to relate the ideas to what my father often says about the gen-next.
"Your generation lacks common sense and are fit for nothing in life except making wonderful gadgets", he'd say in one of his more relaxed, gentle and amiable moods.
"You carefully plug all the ant-holes, dog-doors giving the impression of being assiduous, spend-thrifts and mature beings...
... only to leave elephant-gateways open?", he'd continue.
Although, I feel he makes outrageous statements, there is more than a hint of truth in those. Take this for example. In my apartments in Bangalore, most of them are in the higher middle class (economically). Almost everyone is in the Technology field (Engineers, IT people etc). Some are doctors. Others are chairpersons of small companies. You'd expect their lifestyles to be lavish at an average and you'd not be disappointed by your guess. Most families own at least 2 houses. Their spending habits don't show much restraint too, apart from the regular savings and budgeting that any family that wants to survive does.
Now, move the focus to a lady who offers ironing service to the residents. She, as anyone could guess, was a poor lady. She charged 1 rupee per piece of cloth (Shirt/trouser etc). Now that's very less. When you look at the globe and see the prices of essentials, you only see a sharp increase if not exponential. You don't need to be a rocket scientist (or as pertinent here - a Nobel Prize winning economist) to understand that daily expenses are hard to meet for her family.
She, last year, in the wake of rising prices of even essentials like rice, pulses and vegetables, decided to  increase the ironing cost to 1.50 rupees. A sane population will be expected to sympathize and support the decision. And lo! What happens? There is a furor over the increase of pricing.
"She is exploiting our helplessness!"
"She thinks we don't have any other place to go to?"
"We'll show her who's the boss here!"
"The apartment administration should intervene and impose her to stick to 1 rupee..."
My father - the then (and as of this post,) the unanimous choice President of the Apartments - dismissed these requests from residents saying they were too silly to be discussed! "That matter is simply not worth my time and I don't wish to discuss this. If you have an issue, you find someone else, but I'll not pass a law asking her to reduce her pricing!"
One day, after he came back from the Owners' meet, he had a peeved look and with his hand on his forehead, poured out his disgust. "These 'highly educated', so called IIT grads and MIT grads and MS from USA folks think they know it all. Ask them to talk about solving a simple problem and they'll all be ready with Powerpoint presentations! However, does the problem get solved? No! Only endless meetings happen..."
I got interested in this outburst. A little instigation is all it takes to get more out of him. "So what are they doing now, dad?" I asked.
"Oh well, I saw a lady drive out of the building with a bunch of clothes to iron. I asked her what she was doing and she, with a wise, smug look on her face, revealed the ultimate secret of eternal wealth and savings! Some fellow down the road is charging just 1 rupee per cloth and so she decided to go to him instead of to this poor lady here. And these very people don't mind pouring lakhs and millions to builders without much bargaining!"
I realized his drift. I let him continue, albeit at the expense of my generation! "And she perhaps doesn't realize that she spends more on the fuel than she saves by going to that other fellow!!!"
Dad, I wish they taught 'life' too in schools! But then, most in your generation, never encourage 'wasting' time on such courses which don't make their children either doctors or engineers. So here we are. Engineers and Doctors, but not humans!

Superpower Republic

One of my friends' status message on facebook was a bit different from most others' on 26th Jan this time. It said something to the effect of, "Everyone suddenly gets a burst of patriotism on this day. It is all a farce." That was a reaction, I guess, to the many people's posts of patriotic videos and gloriying messages about India. Although, I jumped onto the patriotic bandwagon, letting the feeling creep and crawl over me, after I saw this message, I sat back.
"She is right! It is all a farce (nautanki)." I thought. But another friend commented on her status saying, "At least this day we feel that way. It is fine." Couldn't disagree.
I know at the root level I am patriotic and want to affect lives of my kin (fellow countrymen) in a positive way. Watching/hearing of any development in India makes me feel superior and proud. I am sure it is true of most of my friends and acquaintances too. Some are already contributing their bit to the society, some are planning, others help those who take initiatives. All on all,  I know that the social mindset is changing and for good. Esp the ones who live out of India for a bit, value their motherland more; a majority of them at least!
There are a few points which a lot of people touch upon when talking "Indianness". Some of them are as follows (in no particular order):
1- We worship our actors and cricketers. We are crazy about movies and cricket.
2- We criticize the soaps on TV and yet watch them religiously.
3- We never arrive on time.
4- We have no queues/ traffic sense.
5- We criticize bribery yet be the first ones to use it as a "Get out of jail" card.
6- We save money for a better tomorrow forever.
7- We even bribe Gods, touch parents'/elders' feet before starting a task.
8- An average man can communicate in at least 2 or 3 languages.
9- Marking the beginning of any speech, we say, "I have a few words..."
There are more points like these. I'd recommend that watch this video. It is by Rahul Bose. Surely an inspiring one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bim_APQ_5xQ
The part from 6:20 minutes into the video esp talks about how we are unique. Most of those points were greeted with cheer as were some of the points before that. So how do we know if we have become a superpower (as we have been dreaming since the nuclear test at Pokhran) when we do become one?
Apart from the checklistable points mentioned not only in this speech but in most other speeches in this genre (India/Indianness/India Superpower), I have a clear one to watch.
The day we stop cheering loudly/ applauding for those precise points... the day we stop getting goose bumps on hearing patriotic speeches arousing our expectations... The day we stop looking at other nations and their people for their pride and duty towards their nations... That day we would have become a superpower because we know it is not a 'to do' anymore, but already a norm of our lives!

Of splits and vainness!

Andhra, Telangana, Rayalaseema - split!
Vidharba, Konkan, Maharashtra - split!
Others too follow suit!
No useful work, only split and loot.
Tear away our togetherness!
Who cares India, we only make mess!

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/hyderabad/Telangana-protest-hits-Hyderabad/articleshow/5307169.cms

War and Piss

This is an old poem, written in about 2005/06. It is here because I was reminiscing the days when we attended various fests/events at different colleges.
This one was written as my entry to the poetry contest at IIM Bangalore at their Management fest. There were various odd/vague sounding topics given. I chose "War and Piss", and it goes as follows:

War and Piss

Riding, on my way to IIM Bangalore,
I saw a need to construct toilets galore!
        The infernal, unholy stink,
        led me to think,
“Two words used with or without link
talk about World Health, if or if not pink.”
        Between ‘war’ and ‘piss’
        Consider these similarities.
Whatever may happen,
Both need a weapon.
        One is solely for mass destruction.
        Other can be used for mass production.
Former weapon spreads evil helter skelter.
Anyway, latter is no better.
        Humans wage war for oppression.
        Dogs piss to show domination.
War is across national borders.
Piss is across streets, much against government orders.
        Fight against evil is also called ‘warfare’.
        Relieving oneself is good, as it makes one feel light as air.
Wage a ‘war’ against illegal piss.
Inspire ‘opposites’ into blowing you a kiss.
        Fellows and brothers, PLEASE stop these wars!
        Lets not leave our Earth, ugly with scars!

Getting to know someone

May be everyone knows this but I feel it is one of those things that are present in the subconscious, not obvious, just like every creature knows that jumping from a height could either injure or kill it.

Many applications on Facebook these days are quizzes which are supposed to reveal how much one person knows another person. Essentially it is fact-based. Knowing facts about a person is a major 'fact'or in knowing a person. Agreed! However, I realized that you could just know a person or feel that you can know a person without actually being able to quote their favorite color, dish, brand or pastime. In fact these may change from time to time.

So if you want to know a person, you should know how their tastes may vary or how they react to events and why. You could perhaps say you know a person well if you can think what the other person is thinking. You'll know the chain of thoughts. Maybe why he/she thought of that thought even! Everything. And yet, you may not be able to tell something specific like the other person's dog's name.

With my new found discovery (having brought it from subconscious to main working sheet of the mind) I plan to set out trying to know people. My emphasis will be on extrapolation of person's behavior to judge (Oh everyone judges everyone at every instant of time!<--- I just did once again!) the person and predict the person's reactions at another time. The joy you get when you realize that you can almost predict what a person would do in a situation and then see that the prediction becomes true is un-word-able! :)

I have some friends who can tell what my reaction would be and why. We often don't even need words to communicate with each other. (This comes to the fore when you're playing games like Dumb Charades and Taboo.) It is mutual. I am now discovering/adding more people in that list.

PS: Maybe the idea behind knowing facts is to know what happened in the past and what was the response of that person. That knowledge may help in predictions. Any which way, it is not just the facts...

Dad on Facebook?

Woke up in the death of the night!

Saw a sleep-blowing sight!

Checking to see the new mails I got,

there was one - made me feel I was high on pot!

Happy or nervous, should I feel?

Lips or fingers, should I seal?

All careless flirting may be under scrutiny,

and any reckless word may lead to a mutiny!

"As you're going down, you're taking us with you",

say my friends, "What did you do?"

I invited him in an impulsive moment.

He accepted it. Now I can't lament!

"What's all this midnight poetry about", you say?

"My dad's on Facebook!" Here, my case I lay!

*Written at 4:00 am!!!

A High

Sitting in office, struck by blanking of mind, is horrible. You know you're being paid for being in office and coding an application (for ex) but all that is happening is the former without the latter. "Aaahhh! Coffee! My best medicine..." This is dangerous! I noticed that my coffee consumption goes high when in office and that doesn't always give me a high. All that goes high is the acidity in my stomach.

Worse still is when I do this without breakfast/lunch/brunch.

On one such droning day when the world seems to be hibernating and you wonder if the Earth stopped rotating, I came across a very stimulating status message. It claimed "Religion is a socio-political system/setup invented by the opportunist to control the majority population by exploiting their emotions and weaknesses."

I gawked at the message. In some moments, I was smiling! In the next few moments, my fingers joyfully tapped the keys of my keyboard! This chain of climactic events was because my thoughts resonated with that person's.

I buzzed him and what followed was a stimulating chat. Mutually both were extremely happy. It was as though God or some such thing (both are agnostic) gave us a play toy called stimulating thoughts! We played. We played and had to cut short our game because of lack of time. I promised Harish to write about this. I went on to join him, Suraj and Vivek to perform in a college event (IGSA Freshers' Night 2009).

Harish Naik's blog is http://hnaik.blogspot.com/

In this post I enumerate the people who are my mental coffee: Rahul Ranade, Rajagopal V (confusedmartian.blogspot.com), Harish Naik.

Rahul Ranade is one who can follow anything from any simple rot that I utter to a high-ly pun/vague/sarcastic thing I say. Our verbal wars have produced many a happy time for the two of us and if I am right, I should see a pugnacious and bilious remark, which at the least harmful level is merely sarcastic!