Dad on Facebook?

Woke up in the death of the night!

Saw a sleep-blowing sight!

Checking to see the new mails I got,

there was one - made me feel I was high on pot!

Happy or nervous, should I feel?

Lips or fingers, should I seal?

All careless flirting may be under scrutiny,

and any reckless word may lead to a mutiny!

"As you're going down, you're taking us with you",

say my friends, "What did you do?"

I invited him in an impulsive moment.

He accepted it. Now I can't lament!

"What's all this midnight poetry about", you say?

"My dad's on Facebook!" Here, my case I lay!

*Written at 4:00 am!!!

A High

Sitting in office, struck by blanking of mind, is horrible. You know you're being paid for being in office and coding an application (for ex) but all that is happening is the former without the latter. "Aaahhh! Coffee! My best medicine..." This is dangerous! I noticed that my coffee consumption goes high when in office and that doesn't always give me a high. All that goes high is the acidity in my stomach.

Worse still is when I do this without breakfast/lunch/brunch.

On one such droning day when the world seems to be hibernating and you wonder if the Earth stopped rotating, I came across a very stimulating status message. It claimed "Religion is a socio-political system/setup invented by the opportunist to control the majority population by exploiting their emotions and weaknesses."

I gawked at the message. In some moments, I was smiling! In the next few moments, my fingers joyfully tapped the keys of my keyboard! This chain of climactic events was because my thoughts resonated with that person's.

I buzzed him and what followed was a stimulating chat. Mutually both were extremely happy. It was as though God or some such thing (both are agnostic) gave us a play toy called stimulating thoughts! We played. We played and had to cut short our game because of lack of time. I promised Harish to write about this. I went on to join him, Suraj and Vivek to perform in a college event (IGSA Freshers' Night 2009).

Harish Naik's blog is http://hnaik.blogspot.com/

In this post I enumerate the people who are my mental coffee: Rahul Ranade, Rajagopal V (confusedmartian.blogspot.com), Harish Naik.

Rahul Ranade is one who can follow anything from any simple rot that I utter to a high-ly pun/vague/sarcastic thing I say. Our verbal wars have produced many a happy time for the two of us and if I am right, I should see a pugnacious and bilious remark, which at the least harmful level is merely sarcastic!

A compilation of regrets

A passing by reader will be very tempted to generalize and say, "This blog is only about attempts at philosophy or wanting to be serious and talking about what I miss." I'd beg those readers to sympathize with me.

My recent talks with many of my friends and acquaintances revealed that everyone is in the same boat. Perhaps living in another country and not just another city makes people think deep and hard about everything. Thoughts become intense. There is a general wistfulness and longingness about anything! All this in the middle

of fun trips and vacations!

So when I was driving about in Tennessee and on our way back to Chicago, I had solitary moments when all my friends were asleep. I was driving with special focus on the road (I drove between 5am and 8am). In the screen of my mind played a movie!

This movie showed different me-s.

Anything but my present self...

So I was:

1) Drummer in a rock band (Professional/Amateur)

2) Flautist

3) Singer

4) Cricketer

and some more characters which didn't get enough time to form. They were vague.

These are my regrets. I love my life. I know that what I am is because of all that has happened to me and how I reacted to them. (The harshest self critic and the humblest acceptor of the criticism surely does well in life, I believe!)

But it was interesting to picture how life would have been if I were anything but what I am now. Somewhere deep in my heart, I still have one regret. I don't know what exactly it was that made me so strongly inclined to it but everytime my mom suggested that I should be an Engineer when I grew up, I pictured a happy-go-lucky train driver who sounded the whistle of the train ever so often!

Mom! Yeah I became an engineer, but perhaps there was a miscommunication! Where is my train?

Spoilsport became Opportunity

When could a rained out (Cricket match cancelled due to rain) be tolerated?

When you get interesting company... You sit and chat over a wide range of topics... That's when!

"You know what I learnt from someone? The difference between a smart guy and a not-smart guy...", said Moshi bhai!

"Go on! What is it?" I said, always the one to enjoy Moshi's company.

"A smart guy needn't be experienced, but can understand exactly (Almost empathize with) what the other person who is more experienced is saying and use that to act wisely. Given a set of inputs and circumstances, not just you, but I would take the same decision."

I almost agree. With a bit of difference based on the natural attitude of the person, more often than not everyone would end up taking the same decision. So Moshi made me feel not-such-a-loser-as-I-decided-I-was after a discussion with my friends and roommates made me believe I was the biggest loser, deciding to quit work and come here to the US!

And now when I think, I wonder if that natural attitude of a person (The traits of being optimistic or not, risk-taking or not) depends on the circumstances around him/her all life... If some friend of mine and I were baby swapped, then he'd have been like me now and I'd have been like him now. Yeah the genes may count too, but that's far too complex to judge. Then again, if you trace back, the gene differences came because of diverse circumstances that all of us lived under.

After a 2 hour chat on various things with him, (who is Pakistani by birth) that make you feel homesick or at home, I realized that the same things that used to irritate me at home (India) will be more tolerable for me.

I miss the crowd.

I miss the chaos.

I miss the roads (or at places, the lack of it).

I miss the people.

I miss the food.

I now am thankful that I came here to study. I now know what I missed when I was in it! In the thick of the things!

Most of all, perhaps, my mom reminding me "Do you have your wallet with you? Does your wallet have money? Do you have your cellphone?" And I'd stop her halfway and grumble that she thinks I'm an irresposible kid.

Only to come back in 5 min, sheepishly smiling and admitting, "I forgot my bike keys!"

More on related things in my forthcoming posts. I'm thinking these now because it's been 1 year since I left home (India) and I was so mentally prepared that I didn't even let the thought of homesickness mention itself... Now, it's hard to stop these thoughts!

Shower to Flower

Amidst accusations of cliche I maintain, it is not my choice, but a result of chance!

So here he meets her in a party - this time a sober one, (though last time's one was not un-sober, it couldn't be proved) - and his initial reaction was a bland one. "Don't care!"

Maybe there was mist in his eyes. The more he saw her, the beats got more irregular! Hmmmpppfhfhfhfh! "You fall for everyone and anyone!" his 'wise' friends say.

He still maintains that that is not true. For things to get to heart-beat-irregularizing level, there has to be something.

This time he did things differently though! He didn't speak to her until he found that that was the only option. All through the cake cutting, the snacking, the friendly violence he caught glimpses of specimens of most innocent, angelic smiles! That is his weakness! The sweet smile...

And to top it, the eyes looked intoxicated. He so envied the boldness with which (or the sheer chance because of which) his junior spoke to her. All he did was talk to people he knew. Else they'd think they knew him and start the above mentioned cliche that his 'wise' friends use.

Flower Power!

Rain Shower!

The God for showers toils,

to get Flowers all smiles!

"Here's a toast to our acquaintance O Flower,

and may it blossom into more", says God of Shower!

Nandan of our nation

About 7 to 8 years back it was Dr A P J Abdul Kalam that I wanted to be like. Now it surely has to Nandan Nilekani. There shouldn't be any comparison between the two but a news item I read today has cheered me. It has given me a reason to 'live'.

I was an ambitious man looking up to influential people, as a kid, only to degenerate into just another creature who resigns to the statement, "it is all very easy to say big things, but not easy to do them. We can't do anything in this messed up political garbage!" From someone who wanted to be an Aerospace Engineer I became just another Electronics Engineer.

This too had phases.

1- Ambitous Electronics Engineer who saw many opportunities to do big things.

2- "Ahhh! Economy! Let me get a job first."

Being in the USA at this time gives such less-than-normal attitude to most people. What really lifted my dying spirits with a breath of life is the post about Nandan Nilekani. My survival will develop into living for sure. Here is a man whose knowledge, work and attitude earned political respect from a government I lost hope on. Apart from Dr MS (Our Prime Minister) and former Finance Minister PC, I didn't see more avenues for development and positive strides. Railway Minister and his respect from IIMs drew attention and my awe.

Now with this induction of Nilekani, there is a new wave of hope. Indeed men with bright ideas will be appeciated. Today, it is at the highest level. I pray that tomorrow, the level of an organization where a person can get recognized moves down and so on. When this happens, India will be in another universe. India 2020 won't be far away! And it won't be only in patriotic songs that India sounds great in!

My upward looking eyes are a result of news items I read. To name them are:

A- India exports milk to New Zealand (Dr Kurien's dream comes true)!

B- Nilekani's appointment as the head of (National) Unique ID agency!

C- Mumbai's Worli-Bandra sea link's status and now Worli-Haji Ali's proposals!

D- Vishakhapatnam's development!

E- Andhra Pradesh's e-governance actually being real and not just dummy web pages doing nothing!

F- Dedicated Freight Corridor project (railways)! (More railway projects related news on this wordpress link)

Today I feel my satisfied best because I turned from an apathetic person towards goings-on-around-me to a delighted and proud man looking to do my bit.

For all fellow Indians, let's take a cue from this incident and let us do our bit soon! For a start, it'll be a great thing if everyone decides to hokd back the urge to throw trash on the roads or any place other than the garbage bin. If I were you, I'd keep the empty packet with me till I find a bin. It is not very difficult.

I wish to mention my friend who is already doing his bit while the rest of us friends are still trying to either find excuses like lack of time/energy or some such thing or are still planning for those days when 'we will do something'!

Meet Vinod. He is presently working with Aricent Technologies in Bengaluru. Always the one to dirty his hands, put in the effort, plan and execute things, he has started a Charitable trust with a group of like minded people. Their trust mostly funds poor children's education. Personally I am looking forward to be a part of their trust. I strongly recommend you (reader) to get in touch with him if you want to do your bit.

You could mail him at 4uvinod@gmail.com

Here are other friends who harbor such itch to do something - Viraj Patil, Arun V T and Harsh Mankad. There are other friends in my close circle whom I haven't mentioned because they may not take initiative, but I know they'll participate.

@Vinod - I see a lot of scope for us to dirty our hands now.

A walk in the rain

Mind was clouded;

frustration enshrouded!

Hoped for a clearer mind.

Brightness it should find!

Not happy, was I, with any work.

Backstabbers! Every corner they lurk.

"I have no achievement!"

To myself I lament.

No opportunity to prove myself.

No earnings to stock my shelf.

All, around me, in their strides, have spring.

Alas! I'm tied down; depression the string!

For others' sake, I go out of my way.

For their hassles, soul and spirit I lay!

To up my mood, no one cares!

A friendly time no one spares...

In mind, I want to get rid of darkness.

Outside, I don't mind the cloudy mess.

"Oh bring some peace! Bring some calm!"

I begged! Begged with outstretched palm.

On my way back home, raining it was!

My regular way would be by bus.

But today I chose to ease my pain.

So I walked. Like a kid I walked in rain!

*Dedicated to all those souls who are going through tough times! Hope that brought a smile...